


oh, lover boy

by siriusblackstan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, F/F, F/M, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black as Padfoot, The Marauder's Map, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:34:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 39,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28805922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriusblackstan/pseuds/siriusblackstan
Summary: this is a wolfstar fanfiction (remus and sirius) and it will be told from the eyes of remus. this is going to be VERY slowburn! takes place in the marauders era / the 70's up until the 90's. chapters will be pretty long but will take a while to write! please don't fetishize mlm in the comments and say weird stuff!
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	1. Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is just a bit of background and how Remus found out he was a werewolf and wizard. Hopefully the next part will be posted in a couple of days!

_April 18th, 1965_

"Yolk cracked?" Hope called to the living room, in which a five year old Remus sat, his eyes pinned on the black and white television.

"Yes please!" Remus giggled as he ran to the kitchen, blanket in hand.

"What did I tell you about bringing that blanket into the kitchen?" Hope teased as Remus pulled a chair out from the table.

"But I'm cold," Remus whined. Hope shook her head and poured him a glass of milk. She slid the newly cooked egg onto a clean plate, the pan sizzling as she did so.

"Well, wear something warmer. I don't want that new blanket all mucked up," Hope replied with a chuckle. She picked up the plate and slid it toward Remus.

Remus grabbed the plate and practically swallowed his breakfast whole.

"I know you get hungry after full moons," Hope hesitated. Hope was new to Remus's new 'condition'. Ever since she'd lost Lyall, everything changed. She didn't have much money left, nor was she able to control Remus during full moons. She loved her Remus, but she wasn't sure what to do next.

"Mummy, why does it happen?" Remus trembled, his head down.

"Why does what happen, dear?" Hope sighed. She knew this conversation would come.

"My fits. Does it have something to do with the man who... bit me?" Remus sniffed. He didn't understand what was wrong with him.

Hope swallowed, tears in her eyes. "Yes, dear," She stuttered. "You'll understand in a few years when you're ready, okay?"

Remus nodded as he picked at his food.

-

"Remus! In bed now!" Hope sung from upstairs. She waited a moment, until she heard those familiar small footsteps padding up the steps.

Hope lead Remus to his small but warm room and tucked him into bed. Remus could barely hold his eyes open. Hope kissed his forehead and turned towards the door.

"Mummy?" Remus called as Hope closed the door behind her.

"Yes, dear?" Hope replied with her head poking out from behind the door.

"When will I get better?" Remus quivered.

"Remus, you're not sick," Hope shook her head with a frown. She couldn't bear to hear her Remus act as if something was wrong with him.

"Then what am I?" Remus sniffed as he pulled the blankets around his shoulders.

"You're... you're different, Remus. You will understand in the future, I promise you dear." Hope reassured, her eyes pricking with tears. Remus nodded and closed his eyes.

-

_May 21st, 1965_

Hope had made her decision. She didn't _want_ it to come to this, but she knew it would.

"Remus, is your stuff packed?" Hope trembled as she entered Remus's room. There Remus sat, tracing the colorful quilt laid upon his bed.

"Where am I going?" Remus asked with a mixture of tears and innocence in his eyes. Hope cusped his hands as she took a seat next to him.

"You're going to live somewhere else, my dear," She answered, trying not to make Remus or herself cry. She kissed his cheek as he nodded. "I just want you to be safe, Remus. There's also something I must tell you," Hope whispered, her arms wrapped around Remus.

He looked up at her with his light blue eyes. Her stomach sank. She couldn't do it, but the choice was made.

"I have a disease, I'm sick," Hope continued with a strained voice. Remus's eyes shot up at once.

"Like me?" Remus hesitated.

"No! Remus, you are not sick. I am," Hope worried. He was doing it again. "I have something called cancer, and it's very expensive to treat,

"Remus, what you have is not an illness or disease, I promise," Hope continued. Remus looked up at her again with his pale, innocent eyes.

"I miss daddy," he said abruptly.

"I do too."

-

_July 16th, 1971_

"Up! Up now!" Ms. Edwards barked at Remus, who was lying flat on the basement floor. He craned his neck as he sat up, noticing a large gash across his chest. Blood oozed from multiple scratches and cuts on his body.

"I'm up, I'm up!" Remus rasped. His throat was dry and the air around him was hot and dewy.

"Let's get those cuts fixed up," the impatient woman grumbled as she took Remus by the arm. She sat him down in a little metal chair and poured alcohol across his wounds. Remus let out a sharp breath as the alcohol sizzled on his skin. The room around him was dark and smelled of mildew.

Ms. Edwards took a cotton ball and further pressed into his jagged cuts. She then wrapped the injuries up and patted them softly.

"Good to go, Remus." she confirmed as he circled his straining shoulders.

Remus climbed the stairs warily and took one step at a time. When he reached the dim hallway, he passed through to his 'dorm'.

"Where've you been?" a boy named Scott Peters remarked as Remus entered the room. "Been in a fight or something?"

"None of your business, Peters, now piss off," Remus scowled, practically throwing himself into bed.

"Bloody hell, Lupin," Scott sneered as Remus gave him a dirty look. "Just asking."

Remus rolled onto his side, feeling a sharp pain in his shoulder as he did so. The gashes most likely wouldn't heal for weeks. 

"Why're you always ending up in casts every month?" Scott questioned, turning toward Remus.

"Do you ever stop asking questions?" Remus asked with a terribly sarcastic tone. Remus lifted a half empty glass of water from the shabby bedside table, which was chipped in multiple places. He took a sip and as the water sizzled down his dry throat, he heard a knock at the door. 

"Remus?" Ms. Edwards appeared from behind the old crooked door. "Someone is here for you."

"For _me_?" Remus said, choking on his water. He had never had a visitor. 

"Yes, for you," the woman repeated. "He's downstairs."

Remus pulled himself out of bed and ran down the rickety steps. The quality of living at William's Boys' Home was always low. The food was mediocre and probably weeks old, but they got by. 

Once Remus had reached the bottom of the stairs, but was greeted by an old man with a long, white beard. He was dressed in a blue robes with swirls and patterns sewn precisely across the waist. They must've cost a fortune. 

"Remus Lupin, I believe it is?" the man greeted, peering at Remus through his half-moon spectacles. 

Remus just nodded. 

"Albus Dumbledore," the man smiled, holding out a hand for Remus to shake.

Remus shook it and stared at the man in awe. 

"Remus, I think it's best if we speak somewhere private." Dumbledore requested. Ms. Edwards directed the two toward a secluded room. Remus and the mysterious old man sat down in shabby little chairs across from each other, as the woman hurried from the room. 

"Now Mr. Lupin, I'm here for a few reasons and I think it's best that I discuss this one first." Dumbledore started with a note of calmness in his voice. 

"You've been having.. fits, am I correct?" Dumbledore asked Remus. 

"I mean, yeah," Remus stammered. How did this guy know what was happening to Remus? 

"Well, I'm sure you'd like to know the reason, Mr. Lupin," the man continued with a sigh. "I'm not sure if there's any other way to say this, but you were bitten by a, well, a _werewolf_." 

Remus jerked his head up.

"A werewolf? What kind of bloody joke is this!?" Remus yelled. Dumbledore shifted in his seat. 

"You're 'fits' only happen on full moons, am I correct? That is no normal fit, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore chuckled. "Furthermore, you should also know that you're a wizard."

There Remus sat, his jaw hung open. Was this another weird fever dream? 

"Is this a joke?" Remus questioned, scowling. 

"Is _this_ a joke?" Dumbledore smiled, snapping his fingers. Suddenly, an envelope sealed with maroon colored wax fell from the air. "Go on, open it," Dumbledore urged as the letter fell into Remus's bandaged hand. 

Remus tore the envelope open, his eyes flickering across the parchment. He read the letter once, then once again just to let it register. 

"A bloody wizard school!?" Remus probed, his face frozen in a stupefied expression. 

"Yes, indeed." Dumbledore nodded as Remus stared at him. 

"Remus, I am the headmaster. I'd like you to join us at Hogwarts." Dumbledore continued with a smile. 

"Why _me_?" Remus hesitated.

"You've been on the list since you were born," the man replied calmly. "You're father, Lyall, attended."

Remus was still in awe. He had no idea Lyall was a wizard, let alone the man's name. He always remembered his mother's, though. Hope Lupin. 

"Term starts September 1st, and seeing as you are eleven, it will be your first year." Dumbledore explained further.

Just as Remus was about to ask ' _what about my condition'_ , the man interrupted him. It was like Dumbledore had read his mind. 

"Yes, it's sorted out." He assured. Remus let out a sigh of relief. 

"I believe that's all I had to discuss with you, Mr. Lupin," the bearded man said, getting to his feet. "Follow me, Remus."

Remus abided and got to his feet. His legs felt like jelly. There was _no way_ that boring old Remus Lupin was some werewolf wizard. As his thoughts registered, he began to panic. ' _I'm a monster. What was she playing at? Putting a monster like me in a boys' home with other children!'_

Thoughts of self pity clouded Remus's mind. How had he been so oblivious to the fact that he was a danger to society? What would everyone else think? Would he be shunned from the non-wizarding world _and_ wizarding world? Questions flooded his head until Dumbledore began to speak to Remus. 

"Mr. Lupin, I do hope to see you September 1st," Dumbledore smiled. He shook Remus's sweaty hand and made his way through the door. Remus stood in awe, his head flooding with questions once again.

_What's wrong with me.?_


	2. Gryffindor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus arrives at Hogwarts and meets the marauders! (I accidentally posted the unfinished version, so here it is finished).

_August 31, 1971_

Remus woke up with the sun blaring in his eyes. Today was his last day of misery, or at least until Christmas. He got up and stretched, making his way down the hallway. He wrenched open the crooked bathroom door, splashing water on his face immediately after.

_Where's this school anyway? The letter said nothing about how to get onto the platform._ Remus thought to himself in confusion. He would just have to ask someone. 

"Remus?" a little knock at the door came from Ms. Edwards. At least today she wasn't as cruel. "The man who visited you, Dumbledore I believe, dropped some of your textbooks and supplies off."

"How am I supposed to pay for all that? I don't have the money for new textbooks," Remus groaned. 

"Well I suppose that they're second-hand," the woman shrugged. "I want your trunk packed by tonight, please."

"Alright then," Remus sighed, patting his face with a towel. Remus picked up his janky old toothbrush and poured some toothpaste on, then began to scrub his teeth. 

"Oh, and Remus?" Ms. Edwards asked, still standing in the doorway. "Dumbledore said something about walking in between the platforms." 

Remus thought this over, allowing it to register. His eyes went wide with realization. He simply nodded, relieved. At least that was one less thing to worry about. 

Remus made his way back to his room, well more like everyone's room, and began to pack. He laid out his trunk and started to fold his sad clothes. They had been washed and worn so many times that they were thin, but it's not like Remus could buy new clothes. He packed the second-hand textbooks that Ms. Edwards had brought up for him, as well as his robes and supplies. As he pulled the last of his supplies out of an old grocery bag, he felt something of a wooden stick. A wand. 

He stared at the cypress wand, eyes wide. He decided to give it a try. 

He pointed the wand at a pair curtains framing a window. He flicked the wand to the right, and the curtains flew wide open, revealing the blinding sunrise. He flinched as the sun blinded him. He flicked the wand again and the curtains drew shut. 

He gulped, realizing what had just happened. 

-

_September 1, 1971_

"Remus, up!" Ms. Edwards barked at a sleeping Remus. He shot up, looking around at the dark room. The other boys were still asleep. Ms. Edwards stood over Remus, her pale face covered by her chestnut colored hair, which was styled in a bob hairstyle. "Shower! We can't have you walking into this new school looking like a wreck."

Remus nodded, rubbing his eyes. He climbed out of bed and made his way toward the bathroom. 

Remus turned the shower to a warm setting and waited for it to heat up. As he undressed, another question flooded his mind. _My scars!_

Remus looked at the jagged cuts across his body, some faded, some fresh. What would everyone think?! They'd definitely know what he was. His thoughts were then interrupted by Ms. Edwards.

"Remus! Get in before you waste all the hot water! I want you dressed and fed in an hour!" the woman snapped. Remus sighed and pulled back the shower curtain, stepping inside. 

He let the water run down his aching body, soothing his muscles and scars. He poured a small dollop of shampoo onto his palm and rubbed it into his curly, dirty blond hair. The water loosened his curls and suds ran down his neck. The one thing he always looked forward to was showering. 

He washed his body and face, and then rinsed his hair once more. He got out, feeling refreshed as he dried himself. 

\- 

After brushing his teeth and getting dressed, Remus made his way down to the small kitchen. He ate toast with jam and butter, along with a glass of cheap orange juice. The food was never high-quality, but it's not like they could afford anything better. 

"Remus? Ready to go?" Ms. Edwards asked, adjusting her coat. 

"I suppose," Remus sighed, picking up his trunk. Ms. Edwards led Remus out the door. They walked to King's Cross Station in silence. They admired the buildings and architecture of London, as they didn't get out much, until they had finally reached the station. 

"I suppose you can find the platform yourself, Remus," the woman speculated. She gave Remus a pat on the shoulder and turned, making her way back to the boys' home. Remus was alone. He glanced at his ticket. 

"Platform 9 3/4." he questioned. He was still wary about getting onto the platform, as he hadn't done it before. He turned, glancing at the platform numbers. He walked along the many different platforms, until he was between nine and ten. ' _Walk between the two platforms_ ' Remus thought, trying to recall what Dumbledore had told Ms. Edwards. 

He shrugged and took his chances, running at the barrier separating the platforms. To his surprise, he did not smack into the bricks, but ended up on another platform.

He opened his eyes to see families of wizards with their children, all hurrying toward the train. _The Hogwarts Express_ , the sign read. Remus couldn't believe his eyes. His amazement was interrupted by a loud whistle. Remus grabbed his trunk and hurried onto the train. 

Remus made his way down the narrow corridors of the train, wiggling his way through excited students, until he found an empty compartment.

_This'll_ do. Remus thought to himself as he pushed his trunk onto the shelf above his seat. He plopped himself down and picked up a muggle magazine that he had taken from his trunk previously. 

He flipped through the pages, looking for anything interesting to read. Just as he was reading an article of the importance of home remedies, he heard two voices. One a girl's, the other a boy's. 

A redheaded girl stopped at the glass door and smiled at Remus. She pulled the compartment open and waved. 

"Could Severus and I sit here?" the girl said as a boy with pale skin and long black hair appeared behind her. He scowled, looking Remus up and down. 

"I guess," Remus shrugged with an embarrassed look. He did not liked being stared at, even if he was used to it. The two sat down across from Remus, the girl smiling. 

"I'm Lily Evans," the girl spoke, holding out her hand. Remus took it reluctantly. 

"Remus Lupin," Remus faltered. The boy was still staring at him in disgust.

"This is Severus!" Lily cheered, nudging the boy with long black hair. "Come on, say hi! Don't be _rude_ , Sev."

"Are you a _muggle-born_ ," Severus sneered, ignoring Lily.

"Er, my dad was a wizard," Remus stammered, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. 

"Oh, so a _halfblood_ ," the boy scowled as three other boys came rushing to the compartment. One was tall and had black, messy hair and glasses. The second boy was an inch or so shorter, with defined cheekbones, long black hair, and blue eyes. The third boy was half a foot shorter than the second. He was plump and looked extremely nervous. 

"Can we sit here? Other compartments are packed full," the first boy asked, grinning at Lily. The second boy with high cheek bones had his eyes pinned on Severus.

"Sure!" Lily said, making room for the others. The first boy sat next to Lily, and the other two sat beside Remus. 

"What did you say to him?" the second boy said, glaring at Severus. 

"I asked if he was muggle-born, Black," Severus scowled. "Turns out he's _halfblood_."

"You are too, who're you to judge," the boy responded with anger in his eyes. 

"Guys, let's settle down, don't fight," Lily begged, looking at the two. Severus crossed his arms.

"Lily, can we find somewhere else to sit?" Severus said, looking at he others with disgust. 

"I suppose..." Lily hesitated. The two got up and exited the compartment. Lily frowned, waving goodbye to Remus. Remus watched her long hair swing back and forth as she skipped down the aisle. The first boy began to speak.

"I'm James, James Potter," the boy said with a grin. 

"Er, my name's Remus Lupin," Remus introduced with red cheeks. He was not expecting anyone to talk to him. 

"And I'm Sirius Black," the second boy said, holding out his hand. Remus shook his hand and his cheeks went scarlet. The third boy couldn't help but staring at Remus's scars.

"Hi, uh, I'm Peter Pettigrew," the third boy said nervously. "Er, where'd you get your sca--"

"Peter!" James blurted, stopping the boy from asking rude questions. 

"Sorry," the boy bit his lip. He shifted in his seat and frowned at Remus. 

"S'alright, I get plenty of stares," Remus laughed nervously. Sirius observed Remus, who was looking around the compartment in embarrassment. 

"Is that a muggle magazine?" Sirius asked excitedly.

"A _what_ magazine?" Remus queried. 

"You know, like a non-wizarding magazine," Sirius explained, craning his neck to get a good look at the model on the cover. 

"Er, yeah I think so," Remus laughed. "You can flip through the pages if you want."

"Really? Thanks!" Sirius cheered. "Imagine the look my mother would have on her face if she saw that I was reading a muggle magazine!" 

James laughed, leaning forward to flip through the magazine as well. Peter followed. 

"You can keep it if you want," Remus offered. Sirius looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Really?!" he grinned, running his fingers through his hair. "Better give it to James, she'll kill me if she sees me with this."

"Is it because of the cover? The boys' home doesn't let these magazines in either--" Remus was cut off.

"Er, not because of the cover. It's a _muggle_ magazine," Sirius explained. "My family-- well-- they're not _fond_ of muggles, think wizards are superior." 

Remus frowned. There was a prejudice against non-wizards? 

"Thinks that pureblood wizards are the superior race," Sirius shook his head. "I'm not like that, I bloody hate my family and their 'traditions'."

"Sirius, er, let's talk about something else," James faltered, attempting to change the subject. Sirius nodded and began to flip through the magazine again. 

"Did you say something about a boys' home?" Peter asked, oblivious to the look of embarrassment on Remus's face.

"Er, yeah, I did. Just a few blocks from King's Cross." Remus nodded, hoping that the three boys weren't judging him. The compartment went silent. No one spoke for a minute or two, they all just avoided each others' gaze. 

-

Within three hours, the boys had played multiple games of exploding snap, talked about quidditch (which Remus knew nothing about), and eaten about a dozen cauldron cakes, in which James had paid for. 

The train came to a stop, and the sky was darkening. Remus had become more comfortable with the three boys. 

"My cousins go here, both in Slytherin," Sirius stated as they grabbed their trunks. "It's Black family tradition that everyone's in Slytherin, but I'd rather be in Gryffindor."

"Yeah, I hope I get Gryffindor," James agreed, dusting off his trunk. "What about you, Lupin?" 

"Uh, I'm not sure," Remus hesitated. He had no idea what a 'Slytherin' or a 'Gryffindor' was, but he assumed it was some kind of group. 

"If you're the smart type you might get Ravenclaw," Sirius shrugged. "You seem pretty smart."

Remus felt fulfilled at this compliment, though he didn't think he was very bright. 

The four boys made their way down the corridors and emerged from the stuffy train. The cool air soothed Remus. All four of them walked toward the boats. 

"Who wants to partner up with who? The boats only carry two," James offered. Peter's eyes shot up.

"Pete, who do you want to go with?" James asked, shuffling his feet. 

"I'll go with you," Peter trembled. 

"Okay then, Sirius you're with Remus," James stated. Sirius nodded and began to walk toward an empty boat, Remus walking behind him. 

The pairs boarded their boats and grabbed paddles and lanterns. Sirius began to paddle, and so did Remus. 

"Sorry about what Pete said," Sirius apologized out of no where. 

"It's alright," Remus shrugged. "Like I said, I get a lot of stares."

"Mm." Sirius mumbled. Remus sighed as his arms were becoming even more sore. 

"Just er, been in a couple of fights," he lied. It was better to lie than lose the chance of having friends. 

-

The first-years were led to the Great Hall for the sorting. Remus was oblivious to how it worked. A gray-haired woman with a thin face began to speak. Her name was Professor McGongall. 

"When I call your name, you will come forward and sit on this stool," the woman began. "I will place the sorting hat on your head, and the hat will make its decision."

A few names were called in alphabetical order, until Sirius's turn finally came. 

"Black, Sirius?" McGonagall announced. The room went quiet. The Slytherin table watched Sirius closely as the hat was placed on his head.

Sirius glanced at James and Remus with a look of terror as the hat began to speak. 

"I think... hmm.. I say, GRYFFINDOR!" the hat bellowed in a screechy voice. James cheered and Remus smiled at Sirius. A look of relief spread across Sirius's face. The Slytherin table glared at Sirius. 

A few more students were sorted, when finally Remus was next. He walked toward the stool, his heart pounding. McGonagall placed the mangy old hat on Remus's head. 

"I see, I see, quite clever, this one," the hat croaked. "Very loyal; a good amount of bravery as well..."

Remus squeezed his eyes shut as the hat spoke. 

"Hmm..." the hat mumbled once more. "My decision is made! GRYFFINDOR!" 

Remus shuddered as the hat screamed. His heart rate began to slow down as he took a spot next to Sirius, who with the rest of the table, was cheering. 

When James's turn finally came, the hat barely even touched his head when it screamed 'GRYFFINDOR'. To the table's surprise, Peter was sorted into Gryffindor as well. When the time came for Dumbledore's speech, all eyes were on him. 

"Welcome, old and new students!" Dumbledore bellowed across the hall. "I'd like to go over a list of rules for our first years. First years must know that the Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students. Hogsmeade trips are for third year students and up, and any student who wishes to attend the village must have a signed permission slip."

"Furthermore." the man continued, "There has been a tree planted that I advise students to not go near. It is highly dangerous and it is important that students do not go near the tree." Dumbledore glanced at Remus and his stomach sank. "That about sums it up, now everyone, eat!" 

-

Remus's stomach was full of food that he had never dreamed of eating. It was like every ounce of hunger had been sucked out of him. 

The prefects led the students to their common rooms, but Remus was stopped by Professor Dumbledore. 

"Mr. Lupin?" the bearded man asked as Remus was passing him. "I'd like to speak to you in my office." Remus nodded and he lead him to his office. Once the two were alone, Dumbledore began to speak. 

"We have made some arrangements for your condition, Remus," Dumbledore said with his hands folded neatly on his desk. "The tree we've planted has a sort of spell on it." Dumbledore explained the tree's functions and how it lead to a shack, in which Remus would transform in. 

"So you planted a deadly tree, for _me_?" Remus asked with a note of surprise in his voice. 

"Yes, that is correct, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore confirmed. Remus merely nodded, and that was the end of the conversation. Remus made his way toward the Gryffindor common room with a sinking feeling. 


	3. Silver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was kind of rushed but enjoy!

_September 1, 1971_

Remus made his way toward the Fat Lady's portrait, hands in his pockets. 

"Password, please?" the Fat Lady demanded dismissively. 

"Er, I don't know. Wasn't here for the password," Remus replied, slouching. 

"Then no entry!" the woman bellowed. Remus sighed. 

"Stooliewings," a tall sixth year boy interrupted, grinning at Remus. 

"Thanks," Remus nodded as the portrait swung open. 

"No problem. M'name's Greg Whitman," the blond sixteen year old smirked. "I'd better get going, prefects business," he said, flashing his silver prefects badge at Remus. 

Remus entered the portrait, tired and filled with food, when an arm wrapped around his shoulder. 

"Where were you?" James yawned, closing his eyes. 

"Bathroom," Remus lied. He made his way toward the couch where Sirius and Peter sat. 

"Fancy a game of exploding snap?" Sirius offered as Remus passed the two, James clinging to his shoulder. 

"What about tomorrow," Remus mumbled as his head became heavy. "I'm off to bed, haven't eaten like that since Christmas."

As Remus and James moped up the steps, Sirius sprawled out on the floor, hands behind his head. He closed his eyes and bade them goodnight. 

-

_September 2, 1971_

The next morning, the sun gently awoke Remus. He tugged at his sheets, climbing out of bed, making his way toward the bathroom. He showered, allowing the soap to wash the previous day off of him. He dressed and brushed his teeth. Before he knew it, James was pounding at the door for entry. 

"Come on, Lupin! I'm hungry and class starts soon," James whined. Remus eventually swung the door open, allowing James to enter. "Thanks!" James patted Remus on the shoulder as he charged past him. Remus sat on his unmade bed, awaiting James, when suddenly Sirius entered the door. He was rubbing his back in pain. 

"Blimey, did you sleep on the _floor_?" Remus asked Sirius, whose eyes were hollow. 

"Yeah, do I look alright?" Sirius scowled, sinking into his bed. He closed his eyes as the sunlight peaked through the curtains. 

"Don't fall asleep now. Class starts in an hour," Remus yawned, throwing his hands behind his head as James emerged from the foggy bathroom. 

'Ready to go-- oh, Sirius!" James jumped as Sirius glared at him. "Get a good sleep?" 

"Piss _off_ ," Sirius rubbed his eyes. "I need a shower. Woke up in a pile of sweat." Remus gagged sat this statement. Sirius stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Ten minutes later, Sirius emerged looking better than ever. 

"Shall we get going then?" Sirius said, glancing at the three boys. 

"Yeah, I'm bloody starving," James replied, pushing the door open. 

The four boys hurried out of the common room and to the Great Hall, which was packed with people. They took the same spots as the evening before and shoveled food onto their plates. 

"Hey Remus!" a familiar voice called. Lily waved as Remus stuffed toast into his mouth. He waved back with an awkward smile. "Aren't you excited for potions with Slughorn?" 

"Yeah," Remus muffled, his mouth still being full. 

"Could I sit here?" Lily suddenly asked, going red. 

"Of course!" James blurted before Remus could even register the question. 

"No, Lily, come sit with the Slytherins. We'd be delighted to have you," a dark haired boy said, appearing behind Lily. 

"Oh, er, are you sure, Sev?" Lily turned to Severus, a boy who sucked the happiness out of everything. 

"Yes, very sure," he smiled. Lily nodded and accompanied Severus back to the Slytherin table, her hair swinging behind her. The four boys went silent. 

-

"Why's she even _friends_ with a greaseball like that?" James huffed as the boys swerved through the halls. 

"I don't know. All I know is that we have Transfiguration with McGonagall in ten minutes, so we'd better hurry," Remus retorted. James sighed. 

The group scurried from class to class, being told the requirements and what was expected for each subject. The teachers gave notes to copy, definitions to memorize, dates to remember and anything that would further confuse Remus. 

James and Sirius entered the cold dungeon, Peter and Remus following them. Sure enough, Lily was there, sat by her best friend _Sev_. He glared at Remus as he entered the dim room. 

"Alright class, alright! I'm your potions master, Professor Slughorn!" a man with a large mustache bellowed happily across the room. "Potions is a hands-on subject, so we will jump right into brewing! Please open your textbooks to page eight. We're starting simple today with a hair raising spell!"

Remus took no hesitation to pull out his book and flip to the recipe. He could no longer bare the gaze Snape was pinning onto him. 

"Please follow the instructions on the board and in the book! This is a fairly simple recipe that will not take long." the man smiled as the first-years flipped through the pages. 

Remus and the rest of the class were now stirring their ingredients, occasionally glancing at their books for further instruction. Just as Remus stirred the last of the rat tails, Slughorn clapped his hands together. 

"Times up!" the man announced. He got up from his seat and began to peer at everyones' potions. When he had finally reached Remus' table, he gave Remus a pat on the back. 

"Splendid job, Mr..." 

"Lupin," Remus added. Slughorn nodded as strode past. Snape glared at Remus again. 

It was finally time for lunch and the four boys packed their things up, their stomachs growling with hunger.

"Need any help?" Lily offered, clipping a pin into her hair.

"No thanks," Remus declined, closing his half-empty ink bottle. Lily bent to the ground. 

"Dropped your book," Lily smiled, placing the second-hand potions textbook on the table. Lily turned toward the door and left as Remus packed his things. Remus shoved his potions textbook into his bag and turned on his heel, nearly slipping on something. Lily's pin. 

"Oi, Lily! You dropped your-" Remus threw the pin to the ground, clutching his hand.

"You alright?" Sirius asked, running toward Remus. 

"I'm fine, fine! Please give Lily her pin," Remus replied, hurrying out of the door. Suddenly, Remus remembered the metallic gleam of the pin. It was _silver_. He didn't look back at James, Peter or Sirius as he exited the room. 

-

Remus hurried to lunch and sat down with the other three boys. He had just gotten back from the bathroom, trying to wash the sting away. It had obviously not worked, so he was stuck with a red mark on his hand. 

"You okay?" James asked, scooping a spoonful of soup into his mouth. 

"Yeah, er, the pin just pricked me," Remus said a bit too fast. James nodded slowly, returning to his soup. A minute or two later, James was back to debating quidditch with Sirius. 

Questions began to swarm Remus' mind. _Did they know? The pin wasn't even sharp! They could definitely tell he was lying._

Lunch ended briskly as if someone had turned the clock thirty minutes forward. The group staggered from the table, grabbing stray books and quills for their next lesson.

"I think we have Herbology next," James said, shuffling around in his bag for his schedule. "Yeah, Herbology's next, anyone have any idea which way the greenhouses are?" Sirius pulled out his crumbled up map and scanned the parchment for the greenhouses. 

"Think it's down there," Sirius replied, directing the group to the left. The others followed Sirius, who seemed to enjoy leading the group for once. They passed through multiple corridors and raced down many flights of steps before finally emerging onto the grass. 

"Here we are," Sirius announced, leading Remus, James and Peter to a long greenhouse labeled 'first-years'. James pried the door open, allowing the others to plow through. 

"You're late," Mrs. Sprout, the Herbology teacher nagged. "Take your places around the table, please." They took their places and directed their attention to Mrs. Sprout. Hundreds of plants were piled onto the long table. "Please put your dragon hide gloves on as we prepare for our first assignment," she ordered. Remus pulled out his pair of second-hand gloves and pushed them on, trying not to touch the glistening red sting on his palm. 

"What if we get hurt by these plants?" Peter whimpered, staring at the mounds of magical herbs. Remus rolled his eyes. Gryffindor was apparently the house of bravery, and Peter wasn't really living up to the expectation. 

"You'll be fine," Remus mumbled, trying not to fall asleep. The gases in the greenhouse were putting Remus into a heavily dazed state. 

This heavy state did not last long, as Mrs. Sprout soon pulled out a screaming weed from a pot. 

"What the bloody hell was that?" Sirius jumped with a shocked expression on his face. 

"It was a mandrake, Black," Mrs. Sprout yelled over the shrieking. "Put your ear-muffs on!" The class seized their ear-muffs and pushed them on. Remus's head was throbbing. "Everyone will now take a pot of their own and pull the mandrake out! Then, place it your partners pot." Remus and Peter exchanged mandrakes, James and Sirius following their lead. 

Herbology, unlike lunch, went by at an extremely slow pace. The heavy air of the greenhouses made everyone in the class drowsy and worn out. When Remus stepped out of the greenhouse, it was like a wave of cold water washed over him. He snapped out of his drowsy state, and everyone else seemed to as well. James lead the group to he common room, as Herbology was their last lesson of the day. 

"Stooliewings!" James bellowed at the Fat Lady. The portrait swung open and they shuffled inside the warm common room, Sirius and Remus immediately collapsing onto the couch in unison. 

"We're gonna have to do that every bloody day?" Remus groaned, his arm resting on his forehead. 

"No, we have different schedules every day of the week," James explained, rubbing his eyes. "But yeah, we will." Remus rolled his eyes and closed them immediately after.

"Reckon I could get a nap in before dinner?" Remus asked, eyes still shut. 

"Yeah. Dinner's not for another three hours," Sirius muttered, as he too closed his eyes. James yawned and sunk into an armchair. Peter spread out in front of the fire and closed his eyes as well. 

-

Remus woke up drenched in sweat, his throat hoarse and dry. 

"Come on, you'll be late for dinner!" a familiar voice whined. It was Lily. 

' _What_?" Remus winced as Lily shook him awake. 

"Time for dinner!" Lily grinned. "Black and Potter are already at the table. No idea where Peter is, though." Lily explained, dragging Remus through the portrait and down the darkened corridors. 

"Any idea what they're serving tonight?" Remus yawned, fixing his tie. 

"Chicken and mashed potatoes," Lily answered, stretching her arms behind her. "Also some vegetables, stuff like that." Once they'd finally reached the Great Hall and sat down, Remus immediately reached for the basin of pumpkin juice. He poured some into a goblet and drained it. The cold juice sizzled down his groggy throat. 

"Didn't bother to wake me up?" Remus huffed, draining another goblet of juice. 

"We tried, mate. You're a heavy sleeper," James replied, stuffing a fork-full of chicken into his mouth. Remus reached for a chicken leg and filled his plate with every possible choice. 

"Do they not feed you where you're from?" Sirius grinned from over his goblet. Remus rolled his eyes and plopped another butter roll onto his plate. 

By time dinner was finished and they were back in the boys' dormitory, Remus was stuffed and ready for another nap. He took a shower after Sirius and washed his hair swiftly. He could not wait to sink into his warm sheets. As Remus thought dreamily about his bed, a knock came at the door. 

"Lupin? You almost done in there? I need to pee, please hurry up," a voice squealed. It was Peter.

"Alright, alright, I'm almost done," Remus grunted, pulling himself out of the tub and wrapping a towel around himself. He reached for the rack, but grabbed nothing but air. "Hey Peter? My clothes are on my bed, could you bring them to me?" 

No answer. 

Remus creaked the door open, peering out at the empty dormitory. He crept outside, towel wrapped around him, and pulled his clothes on. Just as he reached for his shirt, the door burst open. Sirius was running his hand though his hair, looking as if he had just been running laps around the school. 

"Oh, hey Re--" Sirius's eyes trailed to Remus's huge, silver scars on his chest and arms. "I didn't mean to barge in, I'll go--" Sirius turned on his heel, running out the door. Remus felt himself become red and embarrassed. He quickly pulled his shirt on and sunk into his bed, closing the curtains as he did so. 

Great. 


	4. Feasts and Full Moons

_October 1, 1971_

As September ended and October began, the weather became cold and rainy. The days became shorter and darker. Their first month at Hogwarts went by in a flash, each day filled with homework and notes that overwhelmed Remus. 

"The essay is to be turned in by tomorrow!" Professor McGonagall demanded as everyone hurried out the door and into the corridors. The four boys trampled through herds of students, Peter lagging behind. 

"I can't believe McGonagall is piling this much work onto us so early in the year," Sirius groaned. James and Peter nodded in agreement. 

"Let's get to the dungeons before Slughorn makes us dust those ruddy shelves," James suggested, leading the boys further down the hall. The four had already managed to accumulate a total of 12 detentions in a month.

"I swear those shelves haven't been cleaned in centuries," Remus added darkly. 

The group hurried down multiple flights of stairs until they had finally reached the dungeons. They squeezed into the Potions' room, trying not to be seen. The four slunk behind Slughorn, who was writing instructions on the board. 

"As you all know, we have progressed so far in this past month," Slughorn began, turning toward the class. Remus tried to control his panting, his shirt seeping with sweat. Why was this school so bloody big? "I want you all to get to know each other, so I will be picking partners for today's brewing lesson." Remus's stomach dropped. "More specifically, you will be in groups of three, as today's lesson is far more difficult." Slughorn scanned the class and began to call students to each table.

"Lupin, you're at table four," he called, finally reaching Remus. 

Remus picked up his bag and made his way toward table four. Bottles of green sludge were placed in the middle of the table, along with bat wings and spider eyes. Another student was called to table four. 

"Remus, right?" the Ravenclaw boy asked, hands in his pockets. Something about him was comforting to Remus. Remus nodded, smiling. "Winston Adler." the boy added, introducing himself, his dark brown hair curling behind his ears. 

"Yeah er, nice to meet you," Remus nodded, rubbing his neck. _I didn't think he'd actually talk to me_ , Remus thought to himself. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a low voice, scowling at him. 

"Guess we're partners," Snape hissed, keeping his distance from Remus as if he was some kind of disease. 

"Mm," Remus grunted, trying to control his temper. 

"Guess we should get started then," Winston began, breaking the thick silence between the two. Snape grabbed the green sludgy potion, pouring it into his cauldron. Remus and Winston followed. They stirred the sludgy mixture until it was a deep blue. 

"I'd better add the bat wings, I can chop them up," Remus offered, reaching for the plate of bat wings and a knife. Snape glared at Remus, nose up. He then turned to Winston. 

"You're really gonna let the mudblood do it?" Snape scowled, looking disgusted.

"If you want to do it, then do it. He only offered to help," Winston retorted, a dirty look in his eye. Snape hissed and returned to his potions book. 

Once their potion was fully brewed, it had been time to go. Slughorn dismissed the class and Remus returned to James, Sirius, and Peter. 

"So how was Snape?" Sirius asked, a bitter look on his face. 

"Fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Couldn't go five seconds without calling me a mudblood or something like that," Remus yawned. Sirius seethed at this. "Adler was pretty nice, though. Ravenclaw." Remus yawned and glanced at James, who looked as if he could barely contain himself. 

"Guess who I got paired with," James blurted, his eyes darting to Lily. 

"Let me guess," Remus snorted, following James' gaze. James suppressed another grin. 

"All she did was boss us around," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Can't see why you fancy her so much, mate." James gave an astounded look at this statement. Remus snickered and the four carried onto lunch. 

-

After a lunch full of conversation, Remus, James, and Sirius departed for the common room. 

"I'm off to the library," Peter yawned, swinging his bag over his shoulder. 

"I can come if you want, I have to find a book on summoning charms." Remus offered, standing up as well. 

"Oh, er, no I'm good," Peter said quickly. Remus shrugged and set off with James and Sirius. 

"See you in the common room!" James called as Peter scurried off. The three squeezed through students and teachers until they had finally reached the Fat Lady's portrait. 

"Hobbleflocks!" James bellowed before the Fat Lady could even ask for the password. The painting swung open, and James squeezed into the common room, followed by Sirius and Remus, who were lagging behind.

"What's the rush?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"I've got something to tell you lot," James beamed, leading the two to the boys' dormitory. Once the door was securely locked, James beckoned the boys over with a mischievous smirk on his face. 

"What're you grinning about this time?" Remus laughed, dropping his bag onto the floor. James bent down and began to rummage through his trunk. 

"My dad's left me with something that I think will come in handy," James explained, pulling out a shimmery blanket. Sirius' jaw dropped. 

'Is that a--" Sirius sputtered, gleaming at the silver cloth. 

"Is that a _what_?" Remus demanded, not understanding what James was holding. "Come on James, what is--" Remus' eyes went wide. James wrapped the fluorescent cloak around his shoulders that had now disappeared. 

"It's an _invisibility cloak_ ," James revealed, looking at the two surprised boys. 

"How did you--" Remus began, choking on his words mid-statement. 

"So who fancies a midnight feast tonight?" James grinned, pulling the cloak off. Sirius smirked, looking to Remus for approval. 

-

"Think of all the things we could accomplish with that thing!" Sirius boasted as the four boys sat around the fireplace. 

"I know," James gleamed as Peter sat stunned at the news. "Tonight's our first mission, boys." 

But there was one problem. Tonight was the full moon, so Remus would miss their first 'mission'. He sighed and bit his lip with guilt. 

"What's wrong, Lupin?" Sirius asked, breaking Remus's train of thought. 

"Er, nothing," he said, picking up his bag. It was getting close to seven, and he was to be at the hospital wing by then. "I've got to get to the library." He lied. Remus pushed through the portrait and rushed down the darkened corridors, fixing his tie. By time he reached the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey was waiting for him. 

"Ready, Remus?" she asked quietly, adjusting her skirt. "Already your second full moon here," she added. Remus had had his first full moon about a week into school. She beckoned him down the halls, reaching a door. They strode across the dark lawn and toward the Whomping Willow. Madam Pomfrey scurried under the tree and tugged a root. The tree's branches came to a halt and the two squeezed under the tree. 

When they had finally reached the shack, Madam Pomfrey hugged Remus and left, locking the shack's door. Remus already felt his bones becoming sore as he undressed. Suddenly, his skull felt as if it were being pierced open. His limbs stretched and his teeth sharpened. He let out a scream of pain as his finger nails transformed into claws. He sniffed and could smell the blood of an animal nearby. Then it all went fuzzy. 

-

_October 2, 1971_

Remus woke up, his head pounding and his mouth dry. The sunlight was burning through a crack in the wooden walls, blinding Remus. A huge gash ran down his ribcage to his hip. There were multiple scratches and bruises planted on his already scarred skin. A fresh cut was sliced over the right side of his mouth. He groaned, sitting up. He crawled to the little bundle of sheets on the floor and wrapped them around himself. He sat in agony, awaiting Madam Pomfrey's arrival. Remus heard a little knock at the door.

"Remus?" the woman asked softly. 

"Yeah?" Remus weakly croaked as the door creaked open. Madam Pomfrey stood in the dim shack, waving at Remus. Her eyes trailed to his injuries and she hurried toward Remus, wand in hand. 

"Let's get you fixed up," the woman said gently. She said a few incantations over the fresh gashes, closing them immediately. Silver scars glazed over Remus' skin, replacing the cuts.

"Let's get you to the hospital wing," Madam Pomfrey whispered, pulling Remus to his feet. his brain hammered against his skull, as if it would burst open. 

The woman helped Remus across the lawn and through the corridors, keeping him stable. When they had finally reached the hospital wing, Remus collapsed onto warm cot and took a deep breath. 

"Drink," Pomfrey demanded, handing Remus a goblet of sleeping draught. He gulped it down in an instant and felt his eyes become heavy. The woman smiled and closed the curtain, allowing Remus some peace and quiet. 

-

Remus awoke to the sound of soft whispers near his bed. He wrenched open his heavy eyelids, attempting to see who else was in the room. As soon as his vision was no longer blurry, he recognized the other marauders immediately. The murmuring stopped.

"He's awake," James whispered, nudging Sirius. The three smiled at Remus as he sat up in bed. "We brought you some stuff from last night," James offered, gesturing toward Remus' bedside table. A box of chocolate frogs and plenty of sweets sat on the table. 

"Thanks," Remus croaked, attempting to smile. Sirius' eyes darted to his freshly scarred lip. 

"Er, what happened?" Sirius asked gently as Remus tore open a chocolate frog. Before Remus could lie again, Madam Pomfrey interjected. 

"He got attacked by the Whomping Willow..." she lied, her eyes darting to Remus. 

"Yeah, it was pretty brutal," Remus laughed nervously. The three boys' eyes widened. 

"Did that thing toss you around or something?" Sirius asked, horrified. Remus laughed as Sirius stared at him in awe. 

"Really lucky I survived," Remus added nonchalantly, biting into another chocolate frog. "Sorry I couldn't make your guys' mission. Can we try again tonight?" 

"Yeah, 'course," James replied, as Sirius grinned broadly. 

"Lucky we don't have lessons today, I'm a wreck," Remus groaned, gulping down water. The others nodded in agreement. The conversation soon progressed to complaining about homework and how much they'd been assigned. 

"I still don't know why we need fifty bloody assignments per week," Sirius complained, arms folded. 

"I still don't have my essay from last week turned in," Remus remembered, rubbing his forehead. Sirius interjected. 

"Nope. I'm doing it for you," he insisted, stretching his arms above his head. 

"No you're not," Remus began. 

"Yes, I am. You just got thrown around by a bloody tree, you deserve a break." Sirius demanded, arms now resting behind his head. 

"I can do your Potions homework," James added in generosity. 

"I'll buy you more chocolate frogs," Peter beamed. "I'm not that good at school stuff." 

"Seriously, you guys don't have t--"

"Yes, we do." James cut Remus off. Remus sighed and nodded. Suddenly, Madam Pomfrey made another appearance. 

"You're ready to go," she smiled, patting Remus on the shoulder. "Do be careful, Remus." she added quietly. Remus nodded. The four were soon swerving through the corridors toward the common room. The portrait swung open and the group clambered through the doorway. 

Remus crashed onto the couch, still sore. He yawned as the others took their seats beside him. 

"Can't wait for quidditch trials next year," James cheered excitedly. "You gonna try out?" James asked, turning to Sirius. 

"Probably," Sirius yawned. He definitely wanted a beater spot and Remus knew it. 

-

The four boys crept down the spiraling stairs and into the common room, the invisibility cloak draped over them. They shuffled through the portrait and down the dark corridors. 

"Where's the kitchen again?" Sirius asked, looking from James to Remus. 

"No idea. Anyone got a map?" James responded, looking at the others. Though Remus did not think he had a map on him, he checked anyway. To his surprise, he had kept his map from the first week of school in his back pocket. 

"I have one," Remus said, pulling the map open. 

"Bloody brilliant, this one," James grinned as the four boys scanned the map. 

"There it is, next to the Hufflepuff common room," Sirius pointed out, his finger tapping a spot on the map. 

"Perfect, down this way," James ordered, directing the others to the left. They curved around multiples halls and glided down a few flights of stairs until they had finally reached their destination.

"Here we are," James smiled proudly as the group entered the kitchen. It was warm and filled with busy house-elves. One house-elf came to their service, introducing herself as Penny. 

"Penny, at your service," she bowed. 

"Could we get ten cauldron cakes, a couple chocolate frogs, some biscuits... throw in some Bertie Bott's..." James ordered, thinking about his next few choices. "And four goblets of pumpkin juice."

When James was finished, Penny saluted and ran to retrieve the sweets. The smell of freshly baked pies filled Remus' nose, making his stomach growl. Penny returned, carrying a tray of sweets and juice. The four made their way back to the common room and up to their dorm cautiously, trying not to drop the tray. They wrenched the dormitory's door open and crashed onto their beds. 

"Second mission accomplished," James laughed, biting into a cauldron cake. "Cheers!" James bellowed, raising a goblet of pumpkin juice. 

"Cheers!" Remus, Sirius, and Peter repeated. Remus tilted his head as the pumpkin juice ran down his sore throat. He could get used to this. 


	5. Bella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is shorter. I'll try to get longer chapters out!

_October 3, 1971_

Remus awoke to the sound of scratching quills. He sat up and blinked through the scalding sunlight. Each bed was occupied, but everyone was awake. 

"Morning," Remus croaked, glancing around at the three other marauders. "Why're you up so early? It's Sunday." 

"We're doing your work," James said, scribbling away. 

"For the last time, I can do my own work, I'm perfectly fi--" 

"We're doing it and that's final." Sirius insisted, his hair tied back. 

"Nice hair," Remus laughed, leaning on the pillar of his mahogany-colored four-poster bed. 

"I don't want it to get tangled," Sirius defended, still scribbling away. "I wouldn't be caught dead with knotted hair." 

Remus rolled his eyes, attempting to fix his own hair. He stumbled back to his four-poster and pulled out his trunk, seizing a fresh pair of clothes.

"I need a shower," Remus yawned, setting off toward the bathroom. Once the door was locked, he flicked the shower tap on, wand in hand. Remus had gotten very good at turning things on and off with magic. After full moons, his magic was ripe and powerful, meaning he had to keep it under control. 

Remus undressed and turned toward the mirror, gazing at his new scars. There was a fresh silver slash across his chest, running down to his hip. There was another scar planted on his lip, which would surely turn heads in class. Remus sighed and shuffled into the steamy shower. 

He allowed the water to warm his cold skin, chills running down his spine. He washed himself thoroughly, breathing in the fresh-pine scented soap. He emerged from the shower and wrapped a towel around his shoulders, shivering in the cooler air. 

"Lupin, you almost done in there?" Sirius knocked as the shower turned off. 

"Yeah, give me a minute," Remus called, pulling his clothes on. He ruffled his hair up in a towel, attempting to squeeze some of the water out of it. Remus hung the towel on the unoccupied drying rack and pushed the door open, wand in hand. 

"Ready?" James asked, beckoning that Remus follow them. 

"Yeah," Remus responded. He attempted to brush out his hair with his fingers as the four walked down the steps, but it stayed curly and wet. His hair would never be as good as Sirius's. They strolled through the common room and out the Fat Lady's portrait. 

When they had finally reached the breakfast table, the Great Hall was not its usual loud and busy atmosphere. There were about seven students at the Gryffindor table, a few at Ravenclaw and two at Hufflepuff. 

"This feels _off,_ " Sirius said, glancing at the empty Slytherin table.

The four boys took their seats and piled bacon, eggs, sausages, pancakes, and anything their plates could hold. As Remus reached for a piece of toast, Lily Evans sat down next to him. 

"Hi Remus!" she said, sliding a pancake onto her plate. She grabbed a bottle of maple syrup and poured it onto the plate. 

"Hi Lily," Remus responded, chewing a piece toast. 

"I heard you were in the hospital wing, are you okay?" Lily asked worriedly. Remus shifted in his seat. 

"I'm okay," he said, trying not to think about the stinging in his left hip. "Just had a run in with the Whomping Willow." 

Lily froze, her goblet just touching her lips. 

"Are you serious?" she gasped, horrified. "That thing is dangerous! Why was it even planted!"

Remus felt a surge of guilt burn at the bottom on his stomach as Lily shook her head. 

"No idea," he lied, sipping his goblet of pumpkin juice. He turned to James and Sirius who were having a heated conversation about quidditch, trying to act interested. Peter just nodded along, listening into the conversation. Breakfast soon ended and the four boys went for a walk on the grounds, trying to get as much sunlight as possible before winter. They decided to have a seat under a beech tree, whose leaves were browning. 

"I wonder when the quidditch season starts," James wondered, lacing up his shoe.

"McGonagall said after Halloween. Probably sometime in November," Sirius yawned, resting his arms behind his head. He watched the owls swoop toward the owlery, until someone called his name. 

"Sirius! Oh, cousin!" a shrieky voice called. Sirius jerked up at the voice. 

"Bella." Sirius whispered, disgust in his voice. Remus and James looked at Sirius, unsure of what was about to happen. A girl who looked to be about seventeen or so, strutted up to the four boys, her cheekbones high and her hair curly likes Sirius's. 

"Where's my cousin?" she taunted, squinting at Sirius. "Auntie's got a letter for you." 

Bellatrix drew a green envelope from her cloak and threw it on the ground. 

"She's heard that you're a Gryffindor, Cissy and I have told her all about it." Bellatrix grinned. "What about that? Heir of the Black family, in Gryffindor!" she shrieked with laughter. 

"Just because I'm not a raving lunatic like you doesn't mean you have to go telling her everything I've done," Sirius hissed angrily. 

"This one's got a tongue on him, doesn't he?" Bellatrix giggled, glaring at Sirius. "Treat me with respect or I'll do worse than telling your _mummy_ what you're up to." 

Sirius rolled his eyes as she trailed away, hands on her hips. 

"She's bloody crazy," Sirius began, turning the folded parchment over in his hands. "When she threatens you she means it." 

James looked down at his lap, scratching his neck. Remus watched as Sirius flipped the note open, hands in his lap. Remus had no idea that Sirius's family was that crazy, or at least Bellatrix. Sirius unfolded the note and began to read it. The note was short and was smudged with ink. 

"They want me to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas," Sirius said, a note of joy in his voice.

"I reckon I'm staying here too," Remus nodded, remembering that December's full moon landed on Boxing Day. 

"I can ask my parents if you three can stay at our's for Christmas!" James chimed abruptly. Remus felt a pinch of guilt. He shook his head. 

"Can't." Remus swallowed. "Boys' home doesn't allow it unless I have a signed note from the bitch who runs it." 

Sirius let out a laugh, staring at the grass. 

Peter soon began to whine about it being too cold, so the four made their way up the lawn and inside. The warm air soaked into Remus's skin like a sponge. They strode into the common room and played a few games of exploding snap, Sirius still anxious about Bellatrix. 

_She really must scare her,_ Remus thought, glancing at Sirius. 

Lunch came quickly, and so did dinner. Their meals were full of food and conversation. Sometimes Bellatrix and another girl who looked to be her sister would glare at the group, especially Sirius. Sirius merely glared back. 

It had finally dawned upon Remus that he had _friends_. Real _friends_.


	6. Honeydukes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus discovers a way into Hogsmeade. (notes at the end)

_October 16th, 1971_

"The essay will require a minimum of 13 inches of parchment, no exceptions!" Professor McGonagall hollered as the class noisily departed. Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter fumbled into the corridors, defeated expressions plastered across their faces. Excitement filled the hall's air as the third year students beamed over their first Hogsmeade trip taking place the following morning. 

"I can't believe you have to be in third year," Sirius groaned, loosening his tie. 

"Don't remind me, the third years are rubbing it in enough," James huffed as Remus and Peter rolled their eyes in unison. 

Remus couldn't help but fee jealous of the older students. Why weren't the first and second years allowed to go to Hogsmeade? 

"Can't wait til' we're in third year," Remus sighed as the four boys passed a group of giggling third year girls. James nodded. 

The four trudged through the corridors toward the Great Hall for lunch, occasionally bumping into older students. They settled into their usual seats, James and Sirius on one side, Peter and Remus seated across from them. The bustle of the Great Hall made it hard for the boys to push the envious feeling out of their minds. Remus picked at his food, pushing his salad around with a fork. 

"I'm off to the lavatories," Remus said abruptly, breaking the silence of the group. Sirius opened then closed his mouth, as if he was about to speak. Remus stood up from his seat and ran his hand through his hair. He turned toward the corridors, passing another group of excited third years. He took a left and strode down a few corridors until he reached the boys' lavatory. He scurried inside, and instead of seizing the handle of a stall, he strode toward the sinks. Remus traced the silvery scar carved across the left side of his mouth, gazing at himself in the mirror. Remus often found himself excusing himself from classes or meals to gaze at his scars. He felt a wrench of shame and guilt in his stomach, tears welling in his eyes. Why did he have to be such a monster? Why him? 

Tears seeped from his eyes, shame balling up in his throat. What was Dumbledore thinking, sending someone like Remus to Hogwarts? How could he be so _careless_? What would his friends think? 

Remus looked up as footsteps tapped behind him. Winston. He wiped his eyes, avoiding the dark-haired boy's gaze. 

"I'll go--" Winston stammered, turning back toward the door. 

"No! No, I was just leaving," Remus shouted, seizing Winston's sleeve. Remus released him, Winston smiling a sad grin. Remus swallowed, trailing out of the lavatory. Suddenly, Remus found himself on the fifth floor rather than the first. 

"Bloody moving lavatories!" Remus groaned, his face still wet with tears. He peered around the intersecting halls, deciding to take a right. His eyes trailed across the corridors, the next feeling like the last. He quickened his pace, progressing toward a stairwell. He hurtled down the spiraling steps, attempting to make it back in time for pudding. Just as he clambered out into the first floor, a statue inched forward. Remus jerked his head toward the moving statue. It winked, pointing its bony finger at a door that seemed to have just appeared. 

Remus beamed at the mysterious door. The urge to open the hatchway grew thicker in Remus's gut. He strode forward, seizing the copper handle. He wrenched it open to see a long, dusty hall. The ground was dirt, rather than the usual stone tile that engrossed the floors of Hogwarts. Remus couldn't help but clamber down the hall as fast as he could. He had to find out where it lead to.

His feet hammered against the earthy floor as he ran down the path. It seemed like hours until he had finally found the end of the tunnel. He found himself beneath a wooden trapdoor, cobwebs and dust mites swarming the corners of the tunnel. He warily pushed the trapdoor open, peering around at the scene before him. The aroma of chocolate filled his nostrils, sending a shiver down his spine. He pushed the wooden slab further, attempting to get a better look at the new atmosphere. Boxes were stacked on top of each other, each labeled with a different type of candy. It dawned upon Remus that this passage had lead him to Honeydukes, a candy shop that the older students often boasted about. 

"Blimey," Remus whispered in awe as he admired the assortment of boxes surrounding him. He crawled onto the floor, gently closing the trapdoor behind him. Remus pulled out his wand and hissed a spell. "Lumos!" he chanted. A ball of light sparked at the tip of his wand. He stood up, dusting his jeans off with his wand-free hand. Boxes labeled with sweets, such as 'Cauldron Cakes' and 'Sugar Quills', surrounded Remus. He glanced around the dark storage room. The coast was clear, so Remus seized as many boxes as he could, pulling sweets and cakes out of them. He filled his pockets to as much his trousers could handle. He felt quite pleased with himself. He had found something useful that perhaps _no one else_ knew about. 

As he stuffed an extra chocolate frog into his waistband, it dawned upon him. _He had found a way into Hogsmeade_. 

Remus whispered a 'yes!' as he closed the nearly empty storage containers. He slid under the trapdoor, shutting it behind him, then setting off toward Hogwarts. Just as he was about to reach into his back pocket for a cauldron cake for the journey, his hand slid across a crumpled up piece of parchment. Remus pulled the mysterious document out of his pocket and into his view. A map of Hogwarts. 

_It would be handy, just to put this passage on the map..._ Remus thought, searching his pockets for a quill. The only thing _close_ to a quill was a sugar one. 

"It'll have to do..." Remus sighed, bending to the ground. He spit onto the earthy floor, attempting to make some kind of muddy-ink substitute. He mixed it around, grimacing. Remus dabbed the sugar quill into the 'ink' and grabbed the map up off the ground. He scribbled a sort of symbol near the statue and door, blowing the muddy ink dry. 

He folded the map and stood up, brushing himself off. Remus set off toward Hogwarts once again, with a feeling of confidence in what he had discovered. 

The journey from the Honeydukes' cellar to the Gryffindor common room was a long one, but it was made faster by Remus's anticipation to inform the others of his discovery. 

"Blimey, what's the rush, Lupin?" James called as Remus hurtled thought the Fat Lady's portrait. 

"I've just found something," Remus panted, map still in hand. He straightened up and swallowed. "Dorms. Now." At this point, Sirius and Peter had heard the discussion, and followed Remus and James up the stairs. The four boys scurried inside and locked the door shut, all taking a seat next to Remus on his bed. 

"What is it?" James urged, an alarmed expression on his face. 

"I found a way into Hogsmeade," Remus blurted, excitement pumping in his throat. The boys' heads shot up at once. 

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, his face contorted into a stupefied look.

"Yes, I'm bloody sure!" Remus cheered, standing up from the bed. He turned toward the group and reached into his pockets. Remus emptied his trousers, throwing all kinds of sweets on the floor. James, Sirius, and Peter's mouths dropped at the sight of such a thing. 

"How'd you get into Honeydukes?!" Peter gaped as Remus bounced on the balls of his heels. 

"I found a bit of a passage," Remus grinned. "Better yet, a way into Hogsmeade." 

No one said anything. They were all gaping at Remus in disbelief. Remus unfolded the map and pointed to the symbol he had previously drawn. 

"That's where it is. Guarded by a creepy old statue," Remus explained, finger still on the map. "No idea why it opened for me, though." James threw himself at Remus, pulling him into a tight hug. Sirius and Peter followed, closing in around Remus. 

"You're a bloody _genius_!" James bellowed, still gripping Remus tightly. 

"Thanks," Remus croaked as if he was being strangled by the tight embrace. The boys released Remus and began to shuffle through the assortment of sweets Remus had retrieved. The four retreated to their beds, arms filled with candy. 

"I reckon we should test this passage out tomorrow," Sirius slurred, chewing a cauldron cake. 

"We'd better use James's cloak with that big of a crowd," Remus added as he licked his sugarcoated fingers. "Maybe we could even cause some trouble, who knows. We're powerful with that cloak."

James gave a grin, opening another chocolate frog.

"Ugh, Dumbledore again." James groaned, tossing the card onto the floor. "Let me tell you, Lupin, you're a genius." 

Remus smiled with embarrassment. He glanced at Peter, who seemed to be a sick green color. 

"I think I've eaten too much," Peter mumbled, gripping his stomach. Sirius snickered as Peter clutched his bed frame. 

"I reckon I'm off to bed," James yawned, stretching his arms above his head. 

"Guess I am too," Sirius added as he fluffed his pillow and pulled his curtains shut. Remus and Peter followed. 

Remus crashed onto his cool pillow, releasing a yawn. He heaved the silky sheets over his sore body, squirming with comfort.

_Their first_ _mission_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying these chapters! I am gonna try to get at least 2-3 out a week!


	7. Hogsmeade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The marauders go on their first mission.

_October 17, 1971_

"Psst!" 

"What?" 

"Get up! Our first mission's today!" 

Remus was awoken by a beaming James, who was highly anticipating their first trip to Hogsmeade. 

"What time is it?" Remus croaked, attempting to get a glimpse of the sky. It was still dark out, meaning it was no later than seven-thirty in the morning. "Go back to bed, it's Sunday. Besides, the trip isn't for hours."

James huffed, marching back to his already made bed. He plopped himself onto the four-poster and grabbed the muggle magazine Remus had given him. Remus had noticed that James read the magazine very often. Remus had no idea why James was so interested in muggle stuff, but he let him do his thing. 

James had also awoken Sirius and Peter, whom had also brushed him off, returning to bed. 

"Dunno why you're up so early." Peter slurred, mid-way through a yawn. James raised an eyebrow. 

"I think that this is a very important occasion." James defended, putting down the old muggle magazine. 

"Of course it is." Sirius interjected, rolling onto his stomach. 

"Okay, then let's get a move on!"

"James, it's too early." 

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is."

"No, Sirius, it's not!"

"Yes it bloody--"

"Do you ever shut up?" Remus sat up, scoffing. The four boys looked at each other, then burst out laughing. Remus shook his head, grinning broadly. "We'd ought to get a move on, seeing as we're all awake."

"Now that's more like it!" James cheered, standing up immediately. 

Remus snatched the map up and set it on his bed, stumbling toward the bathroom. He was still a little dazed after just waking up. He combed his now less curly hair and got dressed, brushing his teeth afterwards. Remus and the other boys soon made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast once everyone was prepared for their first 'mission'.

They took their usual seats, grinning slyly. The Great Hall was busier than ever, filled with beaming third years and unimpressed sixth and seventh years, who had already experienced the village of Hogsmeade. Remus filled his plate with slices of toast (all of which had varying jams), fried eggs, sausage links, bacon strips, and a goblet of orange juice. He scoffed the plate down in a matter of minutes. He was _always_ hungry. No matter the circumstance, he would never leave his food uneaten. Maybe it was because he was a ravenous werewolf, or simply because of the fact that he'd grown up poor.

"How're you already done?" Sirius chuckled, spooning cornflakes into his mouth. 

"Grew up poor." Remus answered, chewing the last bit of toast. Sirius looked at his lap, clearly unable to come up with an answer to Remus's self-deprecating jokes. "S'fine, I'm used to the boys' home." Remus assured, hoping to make Sirius a little less uncomfortable. Before Sirius could say anything back, the bustle of the Great Hall became louder as students filed out toward the grounds for their first trip to Hogsmeade. James gave Remus a look, indicating that it was go-time. 

The four scurried through groups of excited students until they had finally reached Gryffindor Tower. They clambered up the stairs, fetching the map and cloak. Remus lead the others down multiple hallways, making several lefts and rights. 

"Okay, so the statue should be right around here." Remus muttered, searching the map for the mark he had previously made. They turned down one more corridor until Remus had spotted the old, lanky, witch statue. "This is it."

Remus marched toward the statue, standing straight up in front of it. Without saying a word, the statue slide aside, revealing a wooden door. James, Peter, and Sirius gaped at the doorway that had suddenly appeared before them. Remus wrenched the door open and beckoned the others inside. 

"Blimey," Sirius laughed, astonished. "How'd you find this?"

Remus explained how he had found the secret passage into Hogsmeade, leaving out the bits that included him crying. James and Peter's eyes darted around the dusty walls and ceiling of the passage. 

"Right," Remus said, tucking the map into his back pocket. "We'd better get a move on."

The boys trekked through the earthy corridor, trying their best to conserve enough time. It took a good twenty minutes for the four to finally reach Honeydukes. They pushed through the wooden trapdoor that Remus had previously come across and pulled the cloak on, their bodies disappearing. 

"This way." Remus whispered, nudging James forward. They trudged out of the cellar and into a big candy shop, filled with beaming students. Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter wormed through the crowd, trying their best to avoid bumping into anyone under the cloak. They finally emerged from the over-crowded candy store, the cool October air chilling their skin. 

"Right, where're we headed to?" James whispered. 

"I say we go to Zonko's." Peter suggested, shifting under the cloak. The others agreed to this arrangement and set off toward Zonko's. 

Remus had heard the older students mention the shop once or twice, but never really put much thought into it. The group slid past two fourth years who were trudging through the door, trying hard not to blow their cover. The boys stopped, gazing at the scene before them. Remus had never seen anything like it. Joke products of all sorts were lined up on shelves, students giggling as each product zoomed or buzzed. 

"We're in, lads." James announced, beaming at the sight around him. "Follow me."

James lead Remus, Sirius, and Peter to the back wall, scanning the shelves for an item he was eager to introduce. He ran his finger across rows of blue boxes, stopping on one at random. 

"Dungbombs?" Sirius asked as James tucked three boxes into his pocket. 

"Yup," James nodded, scanning the wall again. He tucked a few sugar quills into his cloak pocket and turned to Sirius. "I think that these will come in handy." 

"What are those?" Remus asked, gesturing at the blue boxes. 

"What do they sound like? They're called dungbombs." Sirius laughed, nudging Remus. 

"Dungbo--? _Ohhh_." Remus whispered, realizing how stupid he must sound. 

The four moved along, scurrying back to Honeydukes. They swerved past crowds of third and fourth years, making their way toward the cellar. The boys slid down the trapdoor and pulled off the cloak. 

"This way." Remus yawned, directing the group down the earthy corridor. Remus found that James rarely complained about the long journey, unlike Sirius and Peter. Once the group had emerged from the tunnel, something clicked in Remus's brain. 

"Did we pay for that stuff?" he asked, hoping that the others had paid. Sirius shook his head. 

"Why would we?" Sirius chuckled. James elbowed him and turned his gaze toward Remus. 

"It's fine, we can pay next time." he assured, patting Remus on the shoulder. 

"No, it's not like that. Just don't want to give Dumbledore another reason to expel me." Remus laughed, inching down the dusty passage. The others followed in silence for a minute, until Peter finally spoke up. 

"What do you mean?" Peter asked, rubbing his knuckles. "Another reason?"

Remus stopped dead in his tracks and spun toward Peter. 

"Er.." Remus stammered, trying to think of some other reason than him being a werewolf. "Just that I'm not that good at turning in homework." He lied, a lump growing in his throat. Peter smiled, very obviously relieved that Remus wasn't some criminal.

The four hiked through the corridors in search of the Fat Lady's portrait. The painting swung open at the password and they pushed inside. 

"Where've _you_ been?" Lily questioned as the group dispersed onto sofas and armchairs. She could see right through them. 

"Just been in the library, what about you, Evans?" James replied nonchalantly, ignoring the tone of suspicion in Lily's voice. 

Lily simply scowled, closing a thick book that was spread over her knees. She trooped through the common room and up the stairs, her heels clicking behind her. James chuckled. 

"You fancy her, don't you?" a girl said, leaning on an arm of the sofa. Her hair was curly and tied back into a low bun, while her complexion was a warm brown. Everything about her was charming. Remus couldn't help but smile at her. Her presence was like seeing an old friend.

"Nope," James coughed, staring into the fire. "No idea who told you _that_."

The girl shook her head and laughed as another girl appeared behind her. Her hair was a dirty blonde and light freckles engulfed her nose and cheeks. 

"Mary, can we start on charms?" the girl asked, pushing her hair over her shoulder. 

"You do so much _work_ , Marls," Mary groaned, turning to her friend. Marlene rolled her eyes and opened her bag, pulling a leather book out. She slid herself onto an empty armchair and began to annotate some type of textbook. 

"I'm James," James introduced himself, smiling. He gestured toward the others to introduce themselves as well. 

"I'm Sirius." Sirius said, rubbing his forehead. 

"Remus Lupin," Remus smiled as Mary nodded. Peter introduced himself as well and tried hard not to stutter.

"Mary MacDonald," she responded mid-yawn. "That's Marlene, or Marls for short."

Marlene looked up and waved, returning to her book after. 

"Fancy a game of exploding snap?" James suggested, getting to his feet. Mary shook her head.

"I really _do_ have to get started on an essay, but it was nice meeting you guys." Mary smiled, politely declining the offer. James sat back down, dejected, as the two girls strode up the steps. Sirius looked from James to Remus, then back to James. Remus raised an eyebrow at this, not sure what Black was thinking. 

"I can see right through you two," Sirius laughed, crashing into a seat between the two. 

Remus tilted his head, cocking an eyebrow. 

"Bout' what?" Remus asked as James glared at Sirius. 

"C'mon, _Mary_. You both like her and her one friend. Marlene, was it?" Sirius said as if he were some mind-reader. Remus shook his head in disbelief. 

"You _really_ think I fancy her? Bloody hell, we've just met!" Remus defended, taken aback at the statement. James opened and closed his mouth, unable to speak. 

Sirius's speculations might've been correct for James, but it _certainly_ wasn't for Remus. Remus hadn't ever been drawn to anyone. He wanted to be friends with Mary, nothing more. He thought she was the type of person you could talk to anything about, despite not knowing her well. It certainly was not like that. 

"Really, Black." Remus laughed, trying not to seem too angry. 

"Whatever you say. I still don't buy it." Sirius chuckled, leaning back on the sofa. The gleam of the fireplace shimmered against the tip of his nose as he threw his head back. 

Remus sighed, giving up on convincing Sirius otherwise. He pulled himself off the sofa.

"Don't fall asleep in the common room again, we have classes tomorrow." Remus called, plodding up the steps. 

He pushed the door open and was presented with an empty dorm. Remus quite liked when the dormitories were quiet, and he was alone. These days, he never got time to himself. Classes became more demanding and the students were given more homework. Remus was never good with due dates. 

Remus pulled a pair of pajamas on and crashed onto his four-poster bed, pulling the velvety comforter over his body. He pulled the curtains shut. A few minutes later, a pair of footsteps clambered up the stairs.

"Lupin?" a voice that belonged to Sirius Black whispered from across the room. 

"Yeah?" Remus answered, drawing the curtains back slightly. 

"James and I have an idea," Sirius began, inching closer toward Remus's bed. "We're gonna plant a couple of dung bombs near the dungeons."

"I don't think we should tonight," Remus sighed, his body aching for sleep.

"C'mon, Lupin, we have to stick together!" Sirius encouraged, attempting to persuade Remus. "Might as well be a bunch of marauders together."

A smile pricked at Remus's mouth. The Slytherin common room was in the dungeons, and that meant pranking Snape, Bellatrix, and Narcissa, all of whom he, James, Sirius, and Peter hated. So why not? Remus scurried to his trunk in order to find a proper change of clothes. He'd rather not go pranking people while wearing his pajamas. He swung the bathroom door open and changed swiftly, not even taking the time to scowl at his scars. He emerged in a long-sleeved sweater to hide the silver lacerations that coated his arms, accompanying Sirius down to the common room. 

The 'marauders' (or so Sirius called the group), emerged from the common room under the usual invisibility cloak. They trooped down many corridors and flights of stairs until they had finally reached the dungeons. 

"Right, everyone take one." James instructed, passing each marauder a dung bomb. James pulled off the cloak and began to place a dung bomb next to the green and silver door that made Remus's skin crawl. Remus tried not to barf as the mixture of dung bombs and silver collided, creating an ever so pungent scent. He placed his under a stone step and backed into a corner, wrinkling his nose as the odor hung in the air. 

Once everyone had placed their dung bomb, they seized the cloak and ran through the corridors. Once they had reached the safety of the Gryffindor common room, Remus headed straight to bed. Remus hammered up the steps a second time, pulling his pajamas on and crashing into bed. His head was pounding as the silvery smell wore away. The other marauders entered the room and took to their beds as well, though not as tired as Remus had been. 

"The marauders' first mission," Sirius whispered, his arms behind his head. Remus stifled a smile. Sirius took their 'mission' so seriously, and Remus found it very silly; but he let him have his fun. 

"Where'd you even come up with the name 'marauders' anyway? It's not like we've stolen or attacked any--"

Peter snorted as James shut his mouth, trying to erase his previous statement. Remus soon found himself drifting into a peculiar dream about an angry Slytherin prefect.


	8. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remus misses the halloween feast and the marauders don't understand what is happening to remus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still coming up with a plot, it'll get more interesting soon! I have a lot to do right now, so chapters may take a few more days to post.

_October 18, 1971_

During a highly anticipated breakfast the next morning, a terrible stench came wafting into the Great Hall as the slytherins entered. Remus bit back a grin as James snorted and Sirius choked on his toast. Everyone in the Great Hall seemed to pinch their faces in disgust as the smell drifted further down the hall. The slytherin table was filled with students, all of which were smelling each other. Remus even noticed one blonde haired girl dousing herself with a flowery smelling perfume. Remus hated perfume. 

"Looks like our mission worked." James grinned, leaning into their group further. The familiar clicking of heels came from behind Remus and Peter. Lily had just entered the Great Hall, her nose scrunched at the horrid smell. James didn't even notice that his own sleeve was sunken into Sirius's toast as Lily strode past. 

"James, mate," Sirius chuckled, pushing James's elbow out of his food. "If you're gonna say you don't like her, at least be believable."

Peter snickered at this, leaning over the table to fetch another slice of toast. Remus tittered as James ruffled up his hair at the back. Sirius was right; James might as well act it. 

"Anyways," Remus began. "Our plan definitely worked. Do you reckon they'll suspect us, though?" 

Remus's voice had dropped to a whisper as a pair of eyes belonging to Severus Snape glared at the marauders. James's eyes widened as Snape eyed them down. 

"I think the greasy creep knows," James hissed, avoiding eye contact with Snape. "D'you reckon he'll tell? I mean it was a harmless joke, he can't be that uptight." 

Sirius shrugged at this, not caring about the consequences of their mischief, 

"I don't think it really matters. They deserve it, the whole lot of them." Sirius replied, nonchalantly. Remus nodded in agreement. He thought of the multiple insults that had been thrown at him, exclusively from the slytherin students. He had been called things that he'd never dreamt of hearing. 

Breakfast ended briskly as they tended to their morning classes, which seemed longer than the average class. Remus saw no need to be in one class for ninety minutes. Then again, Hogwarts was a school for wizards. It wasn't like the schools Remus saw in films that were dingy with gum clinging to the bottom of benches. Hogwarts was a posh school that had _good_ food, unlike the lunches at most public schools. 

"How many inches of parchment was it again?" Peter faltered, embarrassed to be asking a second time as the marauders emerged from their first lesson. 

"I think it was eleven. Don't worry, Pete," Remus reassured, trying to calm Peter down. "It's not like we haven't gotten away with not doing a few assignments." 

Remus had taken a liking to Peter. He was fidgety and lacked confidence, unlike James and Sirius. Peter was pretty funny once you started talking to him, which surprised Remus greatly. 

Lessons went by at the pace of an injured sloth. Remus swore he saw Sirius dozing off while Professor Slughorn explained the making of polyjuice potion and it's properties. Potions wasn't boring when you actually did stuff, but of course, this lesson was strictly theory based. This bored the whole class, except Lily Evans and her greaseball of a friend, Severus. 

Sirius sat propped up on a stool, tapping his quill against a blank piece of parchment that he was supposed to be taking notes on. He had awoken after James shook him awake, helping Sirius avoid another detention. 

"Do you ever stop tapping your bloody quill?" Remus hissed, squinting at Sirius's impulsive quill-tapping. Sirius rolled his eyes, dropping his quill into his bag. 

"You scold _me_ over a quill, but you're allowed to grind your teeth at night," Sirius snickered. Remus was taken aback at this. "Yeah, that's right, I hear you." 

James rolled his eyes as the two bantered over who was more annoying. Remus couldn't control grinding his teeth! His dreams were exclusively about Remus hunting in his wolf form, which he felt ashamed about. 

"Shut up, Slughorn'll murder you lot," James warned under his breath as Professor Slughorn cast them a serious look. Remus sighed, leaning back against the table, allowing the class to pass by. He didn't bother taking notes. 

***

_October 31, 1971_

October breezed by, Remus barely keeping up with his assignments. The last day of October, better known as halloween, happened to land on a full moon. Remus was dreading the transformation more than ever; even more, the lies that came after it. He had hoped that the other marauders (as Sirius had named the group), wouldn't catch onto the dates that he had always 'fallen sick' on. It was bound to happen, and Remus was praying that the lot weren't paying attention in astronomy. 

"Can't wait for the feast tonight," James beamed, unaware that one marauder would be missing. "Dad said they were amazing in his day." 

"Speaking of Halloween, my birthday's right after. November third, actually," Sirius declared excitedly. 

"Really mate? We'd ought to do something, like a party." James offered, clapping an arm around Sirius's shoulders. 

"Not if Cissy and Bella don't terrorize me first," Sirius scowled, appearing to shift moods. "But I suppose a party would be fun." 

Remus nodded along, hoping to give Sirius a proper birthday. His family wasn't all that kind, and Remus knew what it felt like to not have parties and gifts like most children. 

"We can even get cake form the kitchens!" Remus added, feeling a gush of gratitude. He didn't know why, but he wanted to make Sirius's birthday special. Peter added occasional 'yeah's and 'yup's as the group scooted through the corridors. Classes had just ended, and students were buzzing with anticipation before the feast. Remus didn't think there could be anything better than a normal Hogwarts dinner, but the older students had sworn the feasts were great. 

Unfortunately for Remus, he would have to eat his feast from the hospital wing with Madam Pomfrey at his side, or not at all, rather than with his friends in the Great Hall. As the marauders slunk into the common room, Mary and Marlene bounded out at them. 

"Excited for the feast?" she asked, walking alongside the group. 

"Yeah, bloody starving," James laughed as everyone gleamed at the thought of full plates. "What do you reckon they'll serve?"

"I dunno, hopefully not that fatty chicken." Mary groaned, returning to her seat in an armchair. "Lily! Come over here, stop working!"

Lily looked up from her essay, chuckled, and looked back down. James was staring at her with glossy eyes. 

"James..." Remus laughed, watching James. "Like Mary and Sirius said, you might want to make it believable that you don't fancy her." 

Mary let out a snort of laughter as Marlene giggled on the floor. Sirius shook his head, holding back a bellow of laughter. Peter even seemed to let out a snicker. James snapped back to reality and narrowed his eyes at Remus. 

"I'll throw you into that fire pit, I swear, Lupin," James crossed his arms, a grin twitching at his mouth. Remus snorted, shaking his head. 

The group laughed and chatted, awaiting dinner. Once it hit five, the marauders ran down to the Great Hall with such speed that they had knocked down a fourth year. As the group entered the Great Hall, Remus backed away into the corridor. Sirius noticed. 

"Where're you going?" he asked, turning to look at Remus. 

"Er.. bathroom," Remus lied, wiping his nose. 

"Want me to go with you?" he asked, stepping forward. Remus shook his head. 

"I'll be fine." he reassured, waving the boy off. Sirius nodded and strode back into the Great Hall, joining the other marauders. Remus turned forward and navigated through groups of tall students, all of whom had been talking about N.E.W.T.s. He passed through another few hallways until he had finally reached the hospital wing, in which Madam Pomfrey was waiting outside of. 

"Hello, Remus," she smiled, waving.

'Hi." He replied, dread tearing at his stomach. 

"Let's get going, then?" She asked, starting down the hallway to their left. Remus nodded and followed the woman. She lead him outside to the lawn in which the Whomping Willow sat, thrashing its branches. She dove under a branch and tapped a root with her wand, putting the swinging branches to a halt. Madam Pomfrey and Remus crawled inside, suddenly appearing in an earthy tunnel. 

"Just down this way, like last time." She whispered, a look of sympathy on her face. Remus strode down the long tunnel, finally reaching the old shack. He pushed the creaky door open and closed it, hoping that Madam Pomfrey wouldn't hear his screams. He took off his clothes and tossed them into a neat pile in the corner of the shack.

Minutes later, his jaw began to clench. His limb stretched and his teeth lengthened into sharp fangs. He felt his nose morph into a snout, and he could smell the same metallic-y scent of blood.

His memory fell into a blur, and the next thing he knew, Remus was waking up in the shack on a cold fall morning. A gust of wind tugged at the boards covering the windows of the shack. As he rolled onto his side, blood gushed from a long gash across his back. He bit the inside of his cheek, too weak to groan. Bruises were planted across his arms and legs. Scratches and cuts covered his torso and shoulders, leaving a few fresh wounds to bleed. Some of the blood had dried from the smaller gashes, but the bigger ones had not yet ceased from bleeding. Remus fought to keep his eyes open, awaiting Madam Pomfrey's gentle knock. A few minutes later, a rap came at the door. 

"Remus?" a small voice called as Remus wrapped himself with a thin blanket. "Can I come in?" 

"Yes." Remus croaked, his back aching. A small woman came stepped through the now open door, holding a bag of first-aid wizarding supplies. She frowned at Remus's new injuries as she patched him up. 

"We're getting you to the hospital wing," she said, helping Remus up from the floor. "You'll be excused from classes." 

"But I can't! I can go to cl--" 

"Remus, no." the medi-witch shook her head, helping Remus through the door and into the tunnel. Remus did not argue any further, as he simply didn't have the strength. 

Madam Pomfrey conducted Remus to the hospital wing, insisting that he have a dose of sleeping draught. He sunk into the warm sheets as Madam Pomfrey poured all kinds of draughts and potions down his throat. His eyes fell heavy as the medicine seeped through his body, sending relief into his muscles. His brain began to slow down, and his body felt calmer. 

***

Remus stirred as the marauders watched him from the neighboring bed. His eyes drifted open, and he saw his friends awaiting his wake, just as last time. 

"Oi, he's awake!" James whispered to Sirius and Peter, who were in deep conversation on who they thought would make a better seeker. The three turned there gaze to a sleepy and drugged up Remus. 

"You came?" Remus slurred, surprised at their presence. 

"Of course we did, Lupin." James laughed. "We're your friends, remember?"

Remus laughed dozily. 

"I can't remember much right now, to be honest." Remus mumbled, getting a chuckle out of the group. At this moment, Madam Pomfrey had heard Remus and the other marauders. 

"Did you boys wake him? I told you that you could stay as long as you were quiet!" the medi-witch scolded. She turned to Remus. "Are you alright, dear? Did the draughts work?" 

Remus nodded, swallowing his dry mouth. Madam Pomfrey smiled, shuffling through the drawers of Remus's bedside table. 

"You should be all better now, Remus." she prompted. "I want you straight in bed, though. We can have dinner sent up to your dormitory as well. I don't want you up and about."

Remus complied, lifting himself from his bed. Remus trailed behind his friends, his leg rather sore. 

"Lupin, you okay?" Sirius asked as the group sauntered through the corridors, noticing Remus's limp. James and Peter turned to look at Remus, whose leg was in immense pain at this point. 

"Er, yeah." Remus swallowed, gritting his teeth to hold back a groan. The others looked at each other, as if they were reading each other's minds. In a split second, James, Sirius, and Peter hoisted Remus onto their shoulder, supporting him. 

"Guys, please don't--"

"You really think we'd let you limp around in pain?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. Remus knew there was no convincing the three, so he gave into their support. 

The three boys chaperoned Remus to the common room, ignoring every glance and whisper as they passed. Once they were in the boys' dormitory, James, Sirius, and Peter surrounded Remus's now occupied bed. Remus was grateful for everything they had done to help, but he knew the truth would emerge somehow. He didn't know when, and he'd rather keep it that way. 

"Why're you always ending up in the hospital wing, mate?" James chuckled, handing Remus a glass of pumpkin juice. "I swear, you end up in there at least once a month." 

Remus choked at this, sending pumpkin juice down his front. The group stared. 

"Er, well.." Remus trembled, pulling himself together. "Just the older years trying to mess with first years, y'know." 

Sirius crossed his arms, keen to hear what Remus would say next.

"Were they related to me?" he asked, a twinge of anger in his eye. Remus shook his head. 

"It's all sorted out, really--" 

James tutted, unsatisfied at Remus's attempt to hide the culprit's identity.

"They'll pay." James whispered, glaring at the window behind Remus's bed. 

"Guys, let him sleep, Pomfrey said he needs to rest." Peter interjected, earning a nod of gratitude from Remus. 

"Fine." Sirius and James said in unison, clearly not over the matter. Remus knew that instead of being mad at a mystery culprit, they'd soon be mad at the werewolf who had lied to them.


	9. Parties and Bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains fighting/violence! Mentions of blood!

_November 3, 1971_

James, Peter, and Remus were all putting in their best efforts to make Sirius's birthday perfect. James had organized a prank for the group, and Peter called the kitchens for food. Remus handed out invitations to anyone who was wiling to come. Sirius was quite popular, so it was easy to get others on board. 

"You know that you don't have to go too crazy," Sirius said modestly. "It doesn't need to be some huge thing--"

"Yes it does." Remus interrupted, James nodding in agreement. To make up for the fact that Remus had no gift for Sirius, he insisted on throwing a huge party. Remus couldn't shake the feeling that it had to be perfect. During breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the other marauders sang for Sirius, insisting that every student sing along. Remus would've been utterly embarrassed if it were his birthday, but Sirius was enjoying every bit of it. He liked the attention and spotlight; Remus was the opposite. 

As dinner ended and the marauders retreated to the common room, James, Peter, and Remus began to prepare for the party. They insisted that Sirius go for a walk around the castle while they prepared. They summoned streamers, cakes, party hats, and tinsel in the colors of red and gold. Lily, Mary, and Marlene began to help string up the new decorations as well. A table full of candy and cake was prepared, Sirius's name scribbled atop the cake in red. 

Something was missing, but Remus didn't know what. It was something that the parties at the boys' home had. It was loud. 

"I'll be right back." Remus called, hurrying out of the portrait. 

"Where're you going Re--" 

Before James could finish his statement, Remus was setting off down the corridor. He needed music. Without music, what was a party? He strode off toward the kitchens, hoping the house elves would have a solution. Remus rapped on the door and a squeaky-voiced elf answered him, eager for instruction. 

"Hello, sir! What can Pepper help you with?" the elf squeaked, bowing her head. She was wrapped in beige rags and wore a sock around her neck, as if it were a scarf. 

"Do you have any idea where I can find a record player? Maybe along with some vinyls by David Bowie?" Remus requested, crossing his fingers that she knew what he meant. The elf perked up at this, eager to serve Remus.

"I could retrieve this record player and records from the muggle studies teacher, if that's alright, sir?" the elf offered, looking for further instruction from Remus. 

"That works," he nodded. Pepper snapped her fingers at this, disappearing from sight. Ten seconds later, Pepper reappeared in the same spot, her hands filled with albums by David Bowie and Led Zeppelin. She placed them on the floor in front of Remus, disappearing once more. She came back a few seconds later with a red and black record player in her arms. 

"Do you need anything else?" she asked, placing the record player next to the records. 

"No, that'll be good. Thank you." Remus thanked her, picking up the record player and vinyl disks. He trotted out the door, bidding Pepper goodbye. Remus set off toward the Gryffindor common room, praying that he wouldn't run into Sirius and ruin the 'surprise'. Thankfully, when he pushed through the portrait, Sirius was still wandering the corridors. He sat the equipment on a table, earning a weird look from James and Peter. 

"Lupin, what's that?" James prodded, eyeing the record player. Remus patted the record player and turned to an unsure James. 

"It's a record player. Don't tell me you've never heard of a record player?!" Remus laughed, crossing his arms. He had always been a few inches taller than the rest of the marauders, so at least he won at that. 

"Nope. What's it do?" James replied, examining the vinyl disks. 

"Plays music," Remus explained, dusting an album by Bowie off with his sleeve. "And these are vinyls. You put a vinyl onto the record player, like this," 

Remus slipped a song from the Bowie album case he was holding and lifted the arm of the record player. He placed the disk onto the plate and it started to spin. Perhaps it was bewitched, because they were usually manual. He lowered the arm and the tune of _Queen Bitch_ by Bowie started to play. Remus sighed, bobbing his head lightly to the music. 

"One of my favorites," he mumbled as James stared at him in awe. 

"How does that, that, thing," James asked, pointing at the needle of the record player. "Play songs?" 

Remus laughed and lifted the arm, stopping the melody. 

"I don't know, I'm not some music scientist." he laughed as James scratched his head. It was nearing six o'clock. 

"When d'you reckon Sirius'll be here?" Peter interjected, peering at the portrait. 

"I think right about now." James smirked as the portrait swung open. Everyone in the common room (or at least the first years) bellowed a big 'happy birthday', James's being the loudest. Sirius made his way toward the marauders and wrapped them into a huge hug. 

"Are you serious?" he asked, admiring the cake, decorations, and presents set out just for him.

"I don't know, are you Sirius?" James grinned as Remus groaned. He'd made that joke at least once a day and it was starting to get on Remus's nerves. It was funny the first time, but now it was just terrible. 

"Are you going to ever stop with that joke?' Sirius chuckled, brushing his hair behind his ear. James shrugged. Sirius turned his gaze to the table full of snacks, cake, and drinks, but his eyes landed on the record player. "Is that what I think it is?" 

"It sure is," Remus nodded, surprised that Sirius had recognized it. "How d'you know what a record player is and James doesn't?" 

"What? James doesn't know what a record player is?" Sirius gaped, offended at James's ignorance. 

"I think you meant 'didn't'. I know _now_ , okay?" James corrected, thoroughly embarrassed. 

"Nevermind that, let's give it a play," Remus suggested as he pulled the same record from earlier out of its case. He placed the disk onto the plate and lowered the arm. "This one's a Bowie song, have you heard of him?" 

Sirius nodded, rifling through the cases of vinyl disks. 

'Where'd you get all these, and why didn't you bring them out sooner?" Sirius grinned, picking up an album by Led Zeppelin. 

"Well actually I nicked them from the muggle studies teacher." Remus explained, feeling a flutter of joy at Sirius's appreciation. He had no idea that Sirius liked David Bowie, let alone know who he is. 

The Gryffindor first years (and some second years) celebrated Sirius's birthday. Him being rather popular, there were plenty of people in the common room singing, dancing, and cheering. Remus felt a twinge of jealousy; he knew that his birthday wouldn't have as many people in a million years. The party lasted until about one in the morning, when most of the 'guests' had left for bed. The marauders were sprawled out on chairs, sofas, and carpets in front of the fire. Remus had nicked a copy of copy of _Odyssey_ from the library the morning before, and was reading it in an armchair. He often took to reading in his free time. Since the party had died down, he had used the opportunity to read. 

James was laying on the sofa and Peter was dozing off in another armchair, while Sirius had taken to the carpet. He was sprawled out n front of the fire, his face glowing from the firelight. 

"Right lads, let's get to bed." James advised, stretching as he slid off the couch. Remus had barely noticed what had been said, and asked James to repeat his statement. 

"I _said_ we should get to bed." he repeated, helping Peter up by the arm. "I swear, you're always buried in a book." 

Remus yawned, closing _Odyssey_ and standing up from his chair. 

"Oi, Black!" Remus whispered, nudging a nearly asleep Sirius with his shoe. "Time for bed, mate." 

Sirius stirred, and with another nudge of Remus's shoe, he woke up abruptly. 

"Oh, right. Yeah, what time's it?" he slurred, running his hand through his hair. 

"One o'clock." Remus replied tiredly, as he too was ready for bed. He offered a hand out for Sirius to grab, and he took it, clambering onto his feet. "Come on, up you get." 

Remus supported a dizzy Sirius who was stumbling up the stairs. They entered the boys' dorm after James and Peter who were already in bed. 

"Come on, almost there," Remus soothed, directing Sirius to his bed. He rolled onto the sheets, smiling dozily up at Remus. 

"Thanks, Lupy." he slurred, rolling onto his side. 

"What did you just call me?" Remus snorted, cocking an eyebrow. 

"Yep," Sirius waved an arm, oblivious to what Remus had just asked. He rolled his eyes and turned toward the bathroom. Remus summoned a pair of clothes and changed. He brushed is teeth and hair, attempting to look a tad cleaner. His silver scars gleamed in the moon light, brightening them. He sauntered back to his bed and sunk into his sheets, closing the curtain behind him. Within a minute, he was fast asleep.

***

_November 4, 1971_

The next morning, the marauders were scrambling to get to the Great Hall on time. They'd woken up late curtesy of the party, and had their first lessons of the day in twenty minutes. 

Remus pulled his clothes on and brushed his teeth, then followed Sirius and James out the door, Peter behind Remus. The common room was neat and tidy after the party; Remus assumed this was the house-elves doing. The record player was still laying on the table, though the vinyls were stowed away neatly in their cases. 

"D'you reckon we can keep it?" Sirius asked on their way out, referring to the record player. 

"It wouldn't hurt to have one," Remus shrugged as the group strode down the corridors. "besides, the house-elves would've taken it back if we weren't supposed to keep it." 

James and Peter agreed on this proposal, and they decided to keep the record player and the albums. They made their way to Great Hall and took their usual seats. Remus stuffed a piece of toast into his mouth, washing it down with pumpkin juice. The other marauders ate just as fast as Remus. Once they had finished breakfast, Remus, James, Peter, and Sirius started off toward transfiguration. 

McGongall greeted Remus, frowning at his new scars. The other marauders had been staring at the new silvery cuts on his face, but looked away when Remus had caught them. Of course they'd never be mean about it, but they were bound to notice. Remus prayed that they would never catch onto the dates he'd 'leave' or 'get hurt'. 

Remus took a seat next to Peter, who was at a desk directly behind Sirius and James. Remus started to find himself stuck with Peter, while James and Sirius were in their own world. It didn't bother him, though. At least he had made some friends. 

McGonagall passed out feathers for the first years to levitate, and Remus had lifted it three inches above the table. James had levitated his in ten minutes tops, while Sirius wasn't far behind. Peter was another case, though. His feather didn't budge. McGonagall had given them an essay to complete by next Monday, and bade them farewell as class ended. As Remus strode down the hall with the other marauders, a scowl came from behind him. 

"Is it true, Black?" Snape taunted, yawning. 

"Is _what_ true?" Sirius snapped, narrowing his eyes as he kept walking. 

"That your family didn't send you a gift. Not even a letter! You must be quite the disappointment." he snickered; something Remus had learned was to never talk about family, and Snape had crossed the line.

"Oi, piss off, greaseball." Remus hissed, turning his glare to Snape. He raised an eyebrow. 

"Oh, so the halfblood's talking?" he tittered nonchalantly, as if they were discussing the weather. 

"Come on, don't talk to him." James whispered, grabbing Remus and Sirius by the shoulders. "He wants a reaction, don't give him one pl--"

"And what's with those scars, Lupin?" Snape cackled, pleased with himself. Before James could hold the two back, Sirius and Remus bolted at Snape, knocking him to the ground. Remus jabbed an elbow into his gut, unable to stop himself. He threw punches and scratches, not a care in the world about being injured. Something in him was telling him to keep going, but Professor McGonagall had heard the commotion. She grabbed Sirius and Remus off of Snape by the nape of their shirts, tossing them to the side. She helped Snape up and waved him off to the hospital wing. McGonagall turned to Sirius and Remus, who were disheveled and covered in blood and bruises. 

"Attacking a _student_?!" she bellowed, her hands balled into fists. "Do you have any idea how unacceptable this behavior is?"

Sirius wiped his nose that was now bleeding, and glanced at Remus. Remus had a black eye and a cut on his lip, standing out from the silvery scars on his face already. 

"Fifty points each from Gryffindor!" Professor McGonagall yelled. "And detentions for a month! I cannot believe that members of my own house would attack a student!" 

Remus replayed the moment over again in his head as McGonagall ranted about the importance of house cooperation. Sirius did not seem to be listening either until McGonagall mentioned Dumbledore. 

"What?" Sirius asked as Remus too looked up. 

"We're going to Dumbledore, come on, both of you." she ordered, leading the boys down the hall. "Scourgify!" 

The blood evaporated from Remus's face and clothes, as well as Sirius's. 

"That felt good." Sirius said under his breath, so only Remus could hear. 

"It did." he answered, a tad quieter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my hand hurts from typing but enjoy!


	10. Sticking Charms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> November fades into December, with another full moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's longer, so it took a little more time to write. I'll probably post longer chapters that take a bit more time!

_November 23, 1971_

November was short and cold. The days zipped by and Remus found himself in detention every night, just like McGonagall had ordered. Luckily, it was his last evening of detention. He and Sirius were separated during their punishments; Remus cleaned the trophy room while Sirius sorted student documents. As he and Sirius finished up the night's work and headed towards the common room, they were greeted by an eager James and a nervous Peter. 

"We've just had a brilliant idea!" James announced, unaware of the dark circles under Remus and Sirius's eyes. "I've decided that since we all want to join the quidditch team, we should practice on the weekends when the pitch is clear." 

"Not me." Remus interrupted, his voice hoarse. "Don't even know what it's about, quite honestly."

He hated sports, no matter the objective. He could watch sports, though, as long as he had something to do. 

"Me neither." Peter blurted nervously, as if James were going to lash out at him at any moment. James gaped at the both of them. 

"Right, guess it's me and Black, then?" he asked, clearing his throat. Sirius nodded.

"I suppose we could," Sirius agreed, yawning. "But James, mate, not everyone is as mad about quidditch as you are." 

"Okay, okay, I know." James rolled his eyes. 

Remus decided to start on the essay that had been assigned by Slughorn the previous day. He sat down in front of the fire, quill and parchment in hand. He worked hastily, his eyes blurring and unfocussed from the lack of sleep he'd had. Remus worked for what seemed to be hours until a warm voice filled his ears. 

"Need any help, Lupin?" Mary asked, smiling as she sat in an armchair next to Remus. 

"Yes, actually," he laughed, tracing his finger over a paragraph. "I don't understand the properties of the spider eggs, the textbook didn't really specify." Remus handed her the essay.

"I think they dilute the formula if its too strong.. you could probably ask Slughorn tomorrow. I asked him about a bunch of other ingredients and he helped me out." Mary suggested, handing the paper back to Remus. He took it and folded it up into a square.

"Hey, do you think you could help me in the library tomorrow? I need help with transfiguration and you're pretty good at it." Remus asked, getting up from the floor that he'd been sitting cross-legged on. 

"Sure! Can Marls come, too? She needs help on transfiguration too." she nodded, getting up from the armchair she'd been sitting in. 

"I don't see why not." Remus yawned, starting off toward the stairs. 

Remus clambered up the steps, trying to keep his eyes open. He'd been writing for hours and he felt like his hand might fall off at any moment. Despite the lateness of the night, Remus found James and Sirius still awake in the boys' dorms. They were whispering to each other, trying not to wake Peter. As Remus entered, their voices came to a halt. 

"Hey Remus." James said casually, making his way to his own bed. 

"Hey," he responded, not caring about anything they had been discussing. He was so worn out that it didn't matter to him. He waddled to his bed, pulling the curtains shut. 

***

_November 24, 1971_

The next day, as the marauders came back to the common room after dinner, Mary popped into Remus's head. He glanced toward the sofa where her and Marlene usually sat, but there was no sign of her. He set off toward the library, assuming they had already gone.

"Where're you going, Lupin?" James called as Remus dashed out of the portrait hole. 

"Mary's gonna help me with transfirguration in the library," Remus panted, stopping at James's voice. "I swear I'll be back!"

He set off down the corridor, too far to hear the rest of James's reply. As he turned the corner to the library, the voice of Severus Snape taunted behind him. 

"Look who it is, the juvenile delinquent." he yawned, arms crossed. Remus turned to look at Snape, whose eye was now a light purple.

"Not to mention he's a filthy halfblood." another voice said; a tall, muscly boy appeared from behind Snape. His head was shaven and his jaw was rather wide. 

"Who the hell are you?" Remus leered as the boy fumed. He was not scared of him; there were plenty of boys at the home that he'd dealt with. He was no different. 

The boy snarled like a bull and balled up his fists. Snape gave a small smirk as he whispered something to the boy. All of a sudden, he began toward Remus, towering over him. Though he was very tall for his age, Snape's friend was still taller. Remus snickered at the boy's attempt to scare him. 

"You think you're scaring me?" He laughed as the boy inched toward his face. His breath smelled of ham and whatever he had just eaten. Footsteps skipped behind him as the boy lunged at him. 

"Hi Remus," Lily smiled. Her grin dropped to a frown as Snape looked down at his feet. "What happened, Severus? What is Mulciber doing?" 

"Nothing, Lily." Snape said, his eyes pinned to the ground in embarrassment. Lily grabbed Remus by the shoulder and yanked him away from Snape and Mulciber. "Mary and Marlene are waiting in the library," she whispered. 

They walked to the library in silence. Once they'd reached the entrance, Remus departed silently, joining Mary and Marlene at a table in the corner. A candle was lit atop a pile of books, while quills and parchment were spread across the desk. It looked rather cozy, rather than messy. Mary was leaning over Marlene's scribbly essay. Remus pulled out a chair and sat down, catching Mary and Marlene's attention. 

"Oh, hi!" Mary smiled, looking up from the scratchy essay. 

"Sorry I was late," he apologized, dropping his bag on the floor. "I had a run in with Snape." 

Mary frowned as Remus pulled a book out of his bag. 

"I swear, the slimy bastard pushes everyone around who isn't 'pure'. He's a _halfblood_ , the bloody hypocrite!" Mary scoffed, setting quills and parchment in front of the others. She sighed, pulling out equipment of her own this time. "Let's start, then." 

***

As Remus hurried up the spiral stairs, he heard the usual laughing and banter of James and Sirius from inside the dorms. He pushed the door open, shaking his head at the two boys wrestling on the floor. Peter sat huddled up in a blanket in his bed. He waved lazily as Remus entered the room. 

"How was the date?" Sirius taunted, putting the play fighting to a halt. 

"I was with Mary and Marlene, they were helping me with transfiguration. Who put this idea in your head that I'm some bachelor?" Remus laughed, dropping his bag on his four-poster. "I mean, bloody hell, we're eleven." 

"Twelve." Sirius corrected, grinning up at Remus. His eyes trailed across a silver scar that was usually covered by his hair.

"What time is it?" Remus asked, breaking the silence in the room. 

"S' eleven-thirty." James yawned, peeling his bed sheets back. 

"I'd better shower. Anyone need to use the shower before I go?" Remus offered, gathering a pair of fresh clothes and a towel. He always found that the other boys needed the bathroom when _he_ was using it. The only response was from Peter, who let out a grunt. James and Sirius were already sprawled out in bed, snoring lightly. 

Remus trudged into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He turned the faucet on and slipped into the bathtub, taking in the scent of tangerine scented soap. Minutes later, he decided that that was good enough. He climbed out of the draining tub and wrapped a towel around his shoulders. Remus seized his clothes, pulling them over his scarred body. He ran a hand through his hair and pushed the door open. The light of the bathroom spilled into the dorm, illuminating the now unoccupied beds. Remus groaned. 

"I leave for a bloody minute and you lot've already gone?" he groaned, looking from bed to bed. Suddenly, a loud 'HA!" came from behind the door. Remus gasped, jumping at the loud noise, punching a now visible Sirius on the arm. James and Peter popped out from behind him, laughing a sputtering. Remus was not pleased. 

"Thanks for giving me a bloody heart attack." he groaned, catching his breath. 

"Sorry, couldn't pass up the chance." James shrugged, flopping onto his bed. Remus shook his head as he climbed into his four-poster. 

"G'night!" James called. Sirius and Peter followed. 

"Goodnight." Remus mumbled back dozily. 

***

_November 25, 1971_

The next morning, the marauders were up bright and early. Remus lumbered into the bathroom, squinting at the morning sun pouring into the room. His senses were sharp and strong before the full moon; it was due the thirtieth. The light scorched his eyes, but he soon got used to it. He pulled his clothes on and rushed down to the common room with James, Sirius, and Peter. Everyone but Lily was still in bed. She sat huddled by the fire, a book in her lap. 

"How's it going, Evans?" James smirked, plopping down next to her. She closed her book and shoved it into her bag. 

"I guess that's my cue to head to the library, now." she sighed, obviously annoyed by the presence of James. 

"Where're you going?" he begged as she fled the common room. 

"Anywhere where you aren't!" she called. Remus swore he heard a giggle at the end. James shrugged and kicked back on the couch. The fire never went out, and this morning was no exception. Sirius had taken to the carpet, his usual spot in the common room. Remus noticed a pattern: Sirius was always in front of the fire. Peter was now sitting back in an armchair, his head balanced on his hand. Remus, on the other hand, had taken to reading a book while sitting in the armchair opposite of Peter. 

Since there was never much to read, let alone _do_ at the boys' home, Remus decided to make the most of Hogwarts' selection of books. He'd never enjoyed reading until now, which shocked him. The boys' home only offered magazines of muggle women in bikinis and coupons that Ms. Edwards would cut up from the pages. The home wasn't the wealthiest, so she'd never pass up a good deal on food for the home. Everything at Hogwarts was colorful, unlike the chipping paint and gray walls of his previous home. 

"What'chya reading?" Sirius inquired, now standing next to the armchair Remus was sitting in. His eyes trailed over the spine of the book just as Remus closed it.

"Odyssey?" he asked, tilting his head at the book's label. "Mum wanted me to read that book, said it'd be 'noble' or whatever."

"It's good, maybe you'd like it." Remus suggested, shrugging. 

"Bloody hate books, though." Sirius yawned back. "You don't suppose we could head to the Great Hall yet?" Sirius requested, now sitting on the arm of Remus's chair.

"Yeah, can we?" Peter whined, getting up from his seat. 

"Alright, alright," James chuckled as Peter rubbed his stomach in hunger. "Time to put down the book, Lupin." James teased, patting Remus on the shoulder. 

Remus stretched his back as he stood up from his chair, adjusting to the change of position. He threw his bag over his shoulder and followed James and Sirius out the portrait, Peter lagging behind him.

The four ambled through the halls alone, not surrounded by the usual crowd of students. Remus breathed in the peace and quiet that he rarely got these days. The halls were never this deserted, and it was rather calming to Remus. They progressed toward the nearly empty Great Hall; Snape, Mulciber, a Ravenclaw, and two Gryffindor fifth years were seated at the usual row of tables. A Hufflepuff sixth year entered from behind the group, flocking to his house's table. 

"It's quiet today," James remarked, leading the boys to their usual seats. 

"Yeah. S'nice though." Remus added as he sat down next to Peter. He piled his usual pick of breakfast onto his plate and devoured it; the upcoming full moon sharpened not only his senses, but his hunger. The other three ate slowly, chatting over the last quidditch game in which Remus had not attended. It was rainy and cold, so it was a no from him. Students began to pour into the hall, the younger ones giggling and the older ones tired with bags under their eyes. O.W.L.s weren't for months, but studying was the top priority of fifth years, even if it meant staying up until four a.m. in the common room each night. 

Despite the now loud Great Hall, Remus couldn't help but notice the smirk on Snape's face. He kept looking in the marauders' direction, as if he was waiting for something to happen. Mulciber had the same sly grin on his face, his eyes narrowed at the four boys. James, Sirius, and Peter had finished eating, and classes were just about to start. 

"Everyone done?" James asked, gathering his school equipment. 

"I've been done for ages," Remus replied, tucking a loose book back into his bag. "Ready to go?"

The boys nodded, and rose from their seats. But no one budged. Remus heard snickering from the Slytherin table at this. 

"What happened?" Sirius asked, attempting to unstick from the bench. His gaze fell onto a proud Snape and a chuckling Mulciber.

"Sticking charm, isn't it?" James called to Snape who turned away from the boys. He groaned, waving to McGonagall for help. She came hurrying over and with the wave of her wand, she unstuck each boy. 

"Bloody embarrassing," Sirius whispered as McGonagall stifled a laugh. "They're lucky McGonagall's around, they'd be dangling from the roof by now."

The boys departed from the Great Hall, heads down; this was a huge blow to James and Sirius's ego. They set off toward the Potions room, plotting their revenge on Snape. 

***

_December 1, 1971_

The week slipped past and the castle was now covered in thick Scottish snow. The cold, however, did not prevent full moons, so Remus found himself in the hospital wing wrapped with bandages. The sleeping draught had knocked him out for a few hours, and his wounds were all nearly healed. Madam Pomfrey slunk next to Remus, giving him one last dose of what tasted like mud diluted with cherry and grape. He gagged as the mixture ran down his throat. 

"When will I be free to go?" Remus asked as the sky became darker. 

"Well, I'd say you're free to go now as long as you're careful with your injuries." she replied, stowing potions and medicine away in drawers. "You're exempt from homework today, don't tire yourself out trying to do it." 

"Hey, I'm not complaining," Remus chuckled dozily as the medicine kicked in. "I wonder when holiday starts." 

"It starts on the nineteenth and ends on the second." she smiled, helping Remus up from the bed. His body ached as he stumbled to the corridors, Madam Pomfrey at his side. "Are you sure you're ready to go?" she asked as Remus's eyes went heavy. 

He nodded, too tired to speak. She complied hesitantly, letting him through the door. 

"Be careful, please!" she called worriedly. 

"I will." he yawned back, striding forward. He turned lazily through the hallways, and after a good ten minutes, he'd finally reached the common room. "Sugar Quills," he mumbled. The portrait swung open and he clambered inside, tripping a bit on a stone step. 

The music blared throughout the common room, thanks to Sirius and James who were bellowing a song at the top of their lungs. Remus's head throbbed at the sight of it. 

"Look, it's Lupin!" James called, pointing at an embarrassed Remus. He jumped down from the table he was standing on and started toward Remus, Sirius and Peter following him. "Where were you mate?"

"Er.." Remus hesitated, looking at the wall behind James. He couldn't say that he was in the hospital wing again, he had to make _something_ up, _anything_. "I was taking a walk around the castle, exploring a bit!" Remus yelled over the loud music. 

"Find anymore secret passages and add them to the map, yet?" Sirius asked eagerly. Remus shook his head. 

He had completely forgotten about the map. 

"I'm off to bed, if that's alright!" he said, again very loudly due to the music. 

"It's fine, we'll be up in an hour or two!" James hollered. Remus winced at the constant blaring of music mixed with James's shouting. He climbed up the steps and into their dorm. He pulled of his shirt, revealing two fresh silver gashes across his chest. Bruises and cuts swarmed his arms. A large gash was now lacerated along his leg. He scurried into the bathroom before anyone could barge in and see his many injuries. He washed the dirt and sweat away with warm, bubbly water and splashed his face clean. He felt good as new when he stepped out of the tub. 

Remus pulled on a pair of old pajamas and brushed his teeth, then made his way into back into the dorm. He must've taken a long bath, because thee other marauders were sitting on their beds covered in sweat and panting. 

"Have fun?" Remus asked, snatching his wand up from his bed and placing it on his bedside table. 

"Yeah, loads. You should've stayed." James said, wiping sweat from his forehead. 

"You'd've loved it, Lupin." Sirius nodded, scooping up a fresh pair of clothes. He yawned as he made his way toward the steamy bathroom and closed the door shut. A few moments later, the taps were running again. 

Remus climbed into bed. He was far too tired to create conversation with James or Peter, so he just listened to the running of taps from each boy as he drifted off to sleep. 


	11. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, the marauders plan their revenge in Snape. Holiday break is approaching as well, so this chapter is a bit festive. :) ***Mentions of religious trauma and abuse in this chapter! Also mentions of homophobia!***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last day I wrote was on a Tuesday in the fic. I've decided to start putting the weekday in the date now because I want it to be accurate. Sorry if dates are a little wonky in this fic.

_Friday December 4, 1971_

The halls of Hogwarts buzzed as streamers, ornaments, and tinsel hung from the walls. Snow descended from the high ceilings, lightly coating the shoulders of passing students. Just as the marauders departed from their last lessons of the week, an excited Mary caught up with them, Marlene at her side. 

"How's it going, MacDonald?" James asked as Mary strode along beside him. 

"Good, good. Marls is staying at mine over break!" she chimed, throwing an arm around Marlene, who with the look on her face, wanted to leave her grip. 

"I haven't even thought about break!" James exclaimed, turning to Sirius, Remus, and Peter. "Speaking of break, what d'you think about staying at mine?" 

Remus's stomach dropped. What would James think if he declined? Would he have no friends? If he said yes, his cover would be blown! The next full moon was due on the thirtieth, he could just leave a day or two after Christmas...

"I'll ask, but you know how they are," Sirius replied, snapping Remus away from his personal thoughts. 

"I'll ask mine, too. I don't reckon they'll care." Peter added. James turned to Remus. 

"You can come too, y'know," James smiled, nudging Remus in the rib. 

"Er, I don't know..." he muttered, rubbing his side. "I'll have to send an owl to the home." 

"Oh. Well I hope you can come! Mum says she wants to meet you guys." James beamed just as the group reached the portrait. The walk wasn't as long as Remus thought it had been at the beginning. His legs had grown used to the constant hiking around the school.

"In the meantime, what d'you say we get back at old _Snivellus_?" Sirius proposed, gagging after mentioning Snape. Remus let out a snort, followed by a bellow of laughter from James. 

"Oi, I like that nickname. Suits him, doesn't it?" James snickered back as Peter muttered the common room password. The portrait swung open, and with that, the scent of fresh pine and praline pears swept over Remus. He inhaled the aroma, following the others through the portrait hole. The Gryffindor common room was decked out in red and gold tinsel. A huge Christmas stood tree beside the fireplace, wrapped with sparkly yarn and gold ornaments. Icicles hung from the walls, unaffected by the always lit mantle. Candles glowed in every window sill, illuminating the now darkening atmosphere. 

Remus followed the others to their usual seats by the fire, admiring the decorations as he passed them. The three boys seemed unfazed; besides, they were used to over-the-top decorations. 

"I thought wizards didn't celebrate Christmas." Remus voiced, settling in his usual armchair. 

"We don't." Sirius informed, sprawling out in front of the fire. James and Peter nodded in agreement.

"Ah.." Remus nodded. He wanted to ask ' _then why decorate?_ ', but he already knew the answer. Wizards just liked the idea decorating for no particular reason. Not that it mattered, anyway. Remus wasn't much of a Christian himself; Ms. Edwards used religion to keep the boys in line, so Remus tried his best to stay away from it. Unlike his jagged scars from his transformations, _these_ ones were precise and thin. 

He pulled out the charms essay he hadn't yet started on as the conversation progressed into the topic of quidditch, a sport Remus had never cared for. James and Sirius were always the ones arguing over scores of professional teams while Peter nodded along. 

A few inches of parchment into his essay, Remus looked up at a concentrated Sirius, who was untangling his tie. Rolling his eyes, Remus turned to James. 

"What did you have to do for a summoning charm again?" Remus inquired, biting the end of his quill. "You have to have it clear in your mind, right?"

"Yep, needs to be clear in the caster's mind. I think there was something else.." James said, pondering at what he was missing. A loud thud came from the ground, and Remus's eyes darted to a tieless Sirius. He was lying on the carpet, exasperated. The scent of praline and cinnamon soon faded into the stench of burning cloth. Remus had smelt it before; Ms. Edwards had burnt one of the boy's shirts that she did not approve of, as it was too 'queer'. What did that mean? Remus wasn't quite sure. 

Sirius felt around for his tie, and soon got a whiff of the familiar burning smell. His eyes trailed up to fiercely ablaze mantle. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened at the discovery he had made. Remus noticed this too, and so had James. Peter was a tad late, but the group soon erupted into laughter. 

"Oi, Black! You flung your tie into the bloody fire, have you?" James cackled. Sirius burst into a fit of laughter as well, clutching an arm of the sofa. 

"Get yourself a new tie unless you want McGonagall to skin you alive," Remus snickered, pinching his nose at the smokey scent. 

***

_Sunday December 6, 1971_

The weekend was spent lying around in the common room and roaming the halls, thinking of potential revenge. As the group sauntered down the corridors, Sirius begged for an idea that had already been vetoed.

"I still think that the inflatous charm--" 

"Sirius, do you want to get expelled?" Remus said, cutting Sirius off mid-sentence. "We can't just blow someone up."

"But _why_?" he whined, apparently keen to hurt Snape. "A little charm never hurt anyone!" 

James shook his head with a look of amusement on his face. 

"We could get him back the old fashioned way." Remus suggested, tracing his knuckles. 

"What's that?" Peter asked, oblivious to what Remus had meant. 

"Oh, you know. Give him a good jab in the face again." Remus explained, running a hand through his hair. Peter said nothing. Neither did James or Sirius. "What?"

"This one loves to pick fights," James teased, finally breaking the silence. "I think we should stick to magic, it's easier than fighting. Besides, I don't think Sirius, Peter, or I even know how." 

Remus gave a nod of understanding, sightly embarrassed at his suggestion. The four continued through the corridor, eventually climbing a flight of spiraling stairs. They hadn't paid much attention to the directions they were taking, so they just took whatever way they saw fit. As Remus ascended further up the steps behind the others, he felt a gust of wind blow over his skin. The breeze sent a chill through Remus's body; he had never liked the cold. 

When the marauders had finally reached the top, they stepped into a circular room with snow coated railings embroidering the rims. Telescopes were perched every few feet around the ledge, also covered in thick snow. The sky was dark now, and all Remus could see was the now waning moon and its surrounding stars. He felt a pinch of guilt as he gazed at the moon. They would find out eventually; all of them. The four navigated around the rounded balcony, exploring the new territory. 

"This must be the Astronomy Tower." Sirius inferred, running his hand over the snowy fencing. James had taken to a telescope, and was now peering at the moon through it. Remus had never even touched a telescope, but this soon changed as he followed suit. He peered through the eyehole, gazing at the now enlarged version of the root of his nightmares. He lifted a hand to turn the telescope's focussing gear, but instead of cold metal, his fingers were met with a burning sensation. Silver. 

"Bloody hell!" Remus hissed, pulling his hand away from the gear. 

"S'wrong, Lupin?" James asked, making his way over to a panicking Remus. "You alright?" 

"Fine!" Remus blurted, forcing a smile. He turned away and sped off toward the other side of the tower. James shrugged, continuing to peer at the sky and make conversation with Sirius. Once everyone had gotten their share of the view, they descended down the steps. 

"I can't stand the cold." Remus shivered, pulling himself into a hug. He rubbed his arms at an attempt to create warmth. 

"Don't worry, we're almost down." James assured, adjusting his glasses. In minutes, the four found themselves in the common room once more, surrounded by comfort and warmth. Mary and Marlene had joined the boys as well, chatting over whatever came to their minds. Prior to their arrival, Mary had requested the kitchens to bring up mugs of hot cocoa for her and Marlene. By the time the mugs arrived, there was enough for the whole lot of them. 

"Here, have some." Mary suggested, handing a tray of mugs to the boys. "We only ordered two but the house-elves gave us about ten." Remus took a mug by the handle and sipped it; not too hot nor cold. He had half-expected it to be cold. The conversation carried on for hours, mainly surrounded by the topic of winter break and what gifts each person wanted that year. 

"I asked for a broom but I doubt they'll get me one, seeing as I landed in Gryffindor," said Sirius. "Once she sent a howler. Basically said I was a disappointment." Instead of moping, Sirius chuckled. Remus found himself feeling sorry for Sirius; did his family hate him _that much_? He knew how it felt to be a disappointment. 

***

Once they had finished their drinks, they retreated to the dorms. When Remus entered their dormitory, it too was decorated, though a lot subtler. Thin red tinsel had been woven around the banisters of each four-poster, while small ornaments hung from the fabric atop their beds. Whilst Remus admired their newly decorated room, Sirius attempted to unjumble the mess he called a bed. Noticing this, Remus sighed, smacking his head. James and Peter were now settled over the muggle magazine Remus had lent them, gawking at the photos of women on the back. Unlike the boys at the home, Remus had never taken an interest in those magazines. Sirius struggled trying to uncurl his sheet, so Remus, rolling his eyes, decided to help. 

"Is it really that hard to make your bed?" Remus tutted, pulling a mound of blankets and pillows off of Sirius's bed. 

"As a matter of fact, yes, it is." retorted Sirius. Remus let out a sigh as he folded the now unwrinkled sheets over Sirius's mattress, making sure to wrap the fabric around the corners evenly. "Does it need to be perfect?" Sirius groaned, watching Remus measure every edge. 

"Yes, or I'll have to make your bed _again_." Remus uttered. He heaved the red bedding quilt over the now blank mattress, smoothing it out. He placed the multiple pillows that Sirius had hoarded from the common room at the headboard in order by size. 

"Hey Lupin, d'you mind making my bed?" James quipped, throwing the magazine to Sirius. "Check _that_ out." Sirius's eyes widened at the back page; apparently no one had noticed the muggle model on the back of the magazine during the train ride. 

"On second thought," Sirius began, raising an eyebrow at the photo. "Can I take this home and hang it up in my bedroom? They'll hate it." He asked, gesturing to Remus. 

"Ask James, it's his." Remus shrugged awkwardly. There Sirius was, gawking over some random model. It made Remus's stomach turn over. Weren't they a bit young for this? _No_. Remus thought. _This is completely normal. You're being silly. It's normal to stare at pictures of women on magazines. Maybe you're not normal. Why haven't you done it?_

Breaking the silence, James spoke. "I don't see why not. If you really wanna piss off your family, go for it." he grinned, plopping down on the window seat each dorm had been equipped with. Snow was falling once again, barely visible through the thick glass and dark sky. An owl cawed, bringing an idea to Remus. He shuffled through his bedside table, searching for a quill and parchment. He yanked a half-torn slip of parchment, brushing any dust off. Remus seized his schoolbag, ripping a quill and bottle of ink out. Hastily, he scribbled down a note to Ms. Edwards. 

_Dear Ms. Edwards,_

_Could I stay at a friend's for the holidays? The full moon is on the thirtieth. I'll be back at school before then._

_Thanks, Remus Lupin_

The letter was short, but straightforward. What else was he to say? 

"Who're you writing to?" James yawned, leaning on the palm of his hand. 

"To the bitch that runs the home," replied Remus, unwary of his language. "gonna send this off tomorrow before lessons." 

He shoved the folded letter into his dresser, stowing the quill away with it. A pang of fear coarsed through Remus at the thought of anyone reading that note. Though, no one ever _used_ that drawer, so it was quite unlikely. 

Remus decided that as tomorrow was Monday, he'd ought to get to bed. James did not look ready for bed; neither did Sirius, nor Peter. They were speaking to each other in hushed voices. Noticing Remus's gaze, James beckoned him over. He looked eager. 

"So I have an idea." appealed James. A grin grew on his face as he began to divulge. "You know Peeves, right?"

"Yeah..." Remus nodded with suspicion. "That poltergeist that no one can get rid of?" 

"Correct, my dear Lupin." teased James with a 'wise' type of air. "I think that we could use his knack for..." 

"Creating chaos and driving everyone insane?" Peter interjected. 

"Yeah, yeah that one. I think we could use it against Snivellus." James revealed. "I don't think he discriminates on who he messes with." 

Perfect. It was the perfect revenge, and they wouldn't get blamed. That is, unless Peeves told. But that didn't matter. 

"Okay, perfect, when can we start?" Remus asked, eager to avenge Snape. The rest of the night (or at least until eleven or twelve o'clock) was spent discussing their plan. It was not complicated. It was rather easy. Sirius insisted on taking action as soon as possible; it was decided that they'd consult with Peeves the next day before dinner. James had begged to use the cloak, just for the sake of it. He said it was a "marauder type thing to do". 

"We ought to use the map as well," Sirius said, looking to make the plan as 'cool' or 'top secret' as possible. 

"Oi, speaking of, what if we had locators or something on the map?" Peter suggested. "Just so we can tell where everyone is, y'know." 

"Brilliant! Though it may not be for a while." James praised. Remus had a burning question; this was great and all, but what was Peeves going to actually do?

"What do we ask him to _do_?" Remus inquired. 

"I've got it all planned out, don't worry your little head." Sirius snickered. His question still hadn't been answered, but he figured he wouldn't get it out of them until it was time. 

Remus took the shower last, right after Peter. He trudged into the steamy bathroom, waving a hand in attempt of clearing the fog. Remus turned the faucet tap on and peeled his clothes off. The faucet spurted out purple bubbles that smelled of lavender and sage. He submerged himself fully into the warm foam; his muscles had finally relaxed.

Feeling clean, Remus crawled into bed and shut the curtains. The faint scent of lavender seeped into the their dorm, though Remus felt that he was the only one who could smell it. His heightened sense of smell made no exceptions, but at least it was lavender. Faint whispers came from what seemed to be Sirius's bed, maybe James's. Remus's duvet was soft and airy. It was hard to listen in on any conversations when you slept in such a comfortable bed. 

***

_Monday December 7, 1971_

Before breakfast, Remus, accompanied by his usual crowd, went to the owlery. Remus had never been there; who was supposed to write to him? Who was he go to write to? 

Remus, after finally managing to tie the letter to the barn owl's leg, turned back to his friends. They waited outside of the owlery, dressed in scarves, hats, gloves, and thick cloaks. Remus had not thought about gloves or hats, so James and Sirius lent him some. They were rather warm; maybe it was because they were expensive. 

"Ready to go?" James asked, bouncing on his heels due to the cold. Peter shivered while Sirius stood unaffected. Remus hated the cold. How could anyone just _not_ be cold? 

"Yeah." quivered Remus as he rubbed his arms. The four meandered down the stairs carefully to avoid slipping on the ice. 

Classes seemed to be longer than usual. The anticipation to speak to Peeves was high, and almost everyone noticed. Mary, who was levitating a book next to remus, noticed this as well. 

"What're you all so excited about?" she asked, still concentrated on the book. "You lot are up to something, aren't you.."

"I can neither confirm nor deny these accusations," Sirius chimed from over Remus's shoulder. Remus nudged away from Sirius as he began shaking the jar of needles Remus was supposed to be levitating. 

"Oh, go away, Black." Mary scowled, tearing the jar from Sirius's grasp. She handed the freed jar to him and waved Sirius off, returning to her conversation with Remus. "He's bloody annoying, that one." Remus said nothing. He agreed, but something about Sirius was hard to stay mad at. 

Once classes had finally ended, the four consulted Peeves, a mischievous poltergeist that seemed to torment others just for the fun of it. He was spinning the bag of some student around in circles just in front of the Great Hall. He cackled as the student sneered and stormed away. Using the given opportunity, James bounded toward Peeves. In a business-like manner, James began to speak. 

"What does Jamie Potty need?" Peeves cackled, still whirling the bag around as if it were a toy. 

"We need a favor, it'll be fun." James proposed, earning another cackle from the poltergeist. 

"Are you up to no good, Potty and Loopy? You as well, noble Black?" the ghost boomed, turning to Peter. "Not you too, Petey!"

"Listen, can you just," James leaned in and whispered something to Peeves. A wide grin spread across his face as James carried on telling his plan. 

"Ohhhh, Potty has a good idea, let me think about it..." the ghost raised a clear finger to his chin. "Mmm... I say... how about... NO!" 

The ghost bounced away, giggling and bellowing at passing students. James shrugged and sighed. He lead the others to dinner, where they discussed the failure of their plan. 

"Why won't he just do it?" Sirius groaned, glancing at Snape. "Snivellus deserves it." Remus still did not know what the revenge was. 

"What was it?" Remus asked. No one spoke. Everyone's gazes were was pinned on something behind Remus. He heard a loud cry and a cackle. Turning around, Remus saw Peeves hanging Snape upside down from the foot. Lily was shouting angrily while others laughed. Remus even caught Mulciber stifle a snicker. Of course, this didn't last long. McGonagall soon came bounding toward Peeves and Snape, shouting much like Lily. 

"Peeves! That is a student! Will-- you-- put-- him-- down!" she ordered, zapping Peeves with spells that curved around him. 

"You can't catch meeee, Micky!" Peeves bantered, throwing Snape to the ground. He zoomed out of the Great Hall, earning an applause from Remus, James, Sirius, and Peter. Snape brushed himself off, his cheeks an angry red. McGonagall gave him a pat on the shoulder and sped back to the teacher's table. Snape yanked Mulciber by the collar and pulled him away from the Great Hall, jaw clenched. Lily chased after an embarrassed Snape with her hands balled into fists. Her bright red hair swung from her head with every step. 

"That was perfect!" Remus laughed, beaming at a prideful James. "I still want to give him a good jab in the face, though."

The three laughed, sending a sense of self accomplishment through Remus's veins. 

"Hey! We didn't use the cloak--" 

"It was perfect," Remus insisted, interrupting Sirius. 


	12. Christmas Part One

_Tuesday December 15, 1971_

Within a few day's time, Remus had gotten a brief reply from Ms. Edwards.

‘Don’t care. Be back at school by the twenty-seventh.'

A gust of relief and excitement came over Remus, lifting his mood. He had expected a different response; something along the lines of ‘No. You’re staying at the home for Christmas’, but he stood corrected. The others at the table that morning had noticed this as well. 

"Did she say yes?" James asked, eagerly. Remus nodded. James let out a big "Yes!" and grinned at him. Sirius, too, was beaming. 

The days became shorter, and the holidays drew closer. Under the cloak, the marauders had visited a snowy Hogsmeade quite a few times. They no longer needed the map to reach the passage, though Remus had decided hold onto it, just in case. The map had been labeled with various hiding places and secret passages as they discovered them one by one. With winter break only four days away, homework became rather tame that week. At the end of Transfiguration, McGonagall ordered Remus to stay behind after class. 

"Mr. Lupin, I'd like a word." she called as the marauders beckoned Remus out the door. Sighing, he waved the boys off and turned toward McGonagall. She advanced to her desk, Remus following behind her. 

Taking a seat, the woman cleared her throat. "I have heard about your decision to stay at the Potters' for break." 

Remus nodded in silence. He knew what was coming. 

"I think," McGonagall continued, "that would be a great idea-- as long as you are back by the twenty-eighth." 

The hope that had been drained out of him suddenly began to regenerate. 

"Oh, er, thanks." Remus grinned. He turned back toward the door, biting back a smile. The conversation had been short, but Remus got his answer. This Christmas was sure to be better than the ones at the home. Their gifts usually consisted clothes and new socks, _sometimes_ brand name. It didn't matter though; Remus didn't expect much from the home anyway. 

James bounded at Remus, making him jump with surprise.

"Oh, er, hey," he said, realizing the marauders had been awaiting his exit. 

"Are you in trouble?" James asked, frowning. "Tell her it was us. We have to stick together you kno--"

"She's only asked about where I'm going for break," Remus interrupted. "and she said I'm allowed to go to your's!"

"Really? That's great! I can ask my mum to take us to Diagon Alley!" cheered James. Remus had no idea what Diagon Alley was, but it was definitely some wizard-y place. 

The four proceeded down the hall, finding themselves in the common room once again. The Gryffindor common room was usually warm and calm, but tonight it was filled with excitement. Students sat huddled around in cliques of their own, muttering about each other's holiday plans. Remus had concluded that Christmas at Hogwarts was better than anything. 

***

_Thursday December 17, 1971_

The following days flew by, filled hot chocolate and snow. One day before their departure, the boys found themselves immersed into an intense snowball fight with each other after their last lesson. Thick snow had fallen once again the night before, leaving heaps of white fluff on the ground. Remus scooped up a snowball and threw it toward Peter, missing completely. It had landed in an angry Ravenclaw fifth year's face. 

"Sorry!" Remus called, biting his tongue. James let out a snort of laughter as the girl threw off her schoolbag. She scooped heaps of snow and threw them directly into each marauders' face, cackling. Remus felt the cold snow graze his face and fall into his scarf, chilling his neck. 

"Oi!" Sirius called, wiping snow off of his nose. He picked up more snow and threw it back at her. James did so too, followed by Peter. Remus felt obligated to join in; it was all in good fun. 

The amount of students joining in increased, and at this point, fifty students were involved in the snowball fight. Mary and Marlene were huddled next to Remus and James while Sirius piled up more snowballs. Remus scooped up some snow and tossed it at Lily, who was making her way across campus. She giggled and kicked a pile of snow at him and James. 

"Evans! How about you come join us?" James hollered, ducking at an incoming snowball. Lily rolled her eyes and continued toward her destination. More and more students began to take notice of the battle outside, and it was soon called off by an uptight Slytherin prefect. 

"Everyone inside!" he growled, halting the game. Remus scowled as the fight was broken up. Why did Slytherins have to ruin everything? The four moped inside, wringing melted snow off of their hats and scarves. Warmth seeped into Remus's flesh as he stepped into the Great Hall for dinner. He plopped down next to Peter and scooped a variety of dishes onto his plate. Everyone at the table seemed to be beaming with red noses and blotchy cheeks. 

"That was loads of fun until that Slytherin broke it up." James grunted, scooping food into his mouth. Everyone nodded in agreement and continued to eat. The food at Hogwarts was always perfect, no matter the occasion. 

"So," Remus began, wiping his mouth. "I think we should pack tonight and get it done before tomorrow." 

Sirius groaned. 

"Yeah, I think it's best if we're not rushing around the morning of." James yawned in agreement.

"Well, I'll do it tomorrow." Sirius shrugged, scooping the last of his cheesecake into his mouth. "I don't think I'll be late. I'm never late." 

***

_Friday December 18, 1971_

"I told you that you should've packed last night!" James tutted as Sirius scrambled around their dorm. Remus observed on his bed, his trunk packed next to him. Sirius heaved clothes, magazines, blankets, and the record player into his open trunk. 

"I know, I know!" Sirius panted, stomping on his trunk in attempt to fit everything. He clasped the trunk shut and sighed, wiping seat off of his forehead. 

"Ready?" Remus asked, dragging his trunk off the bed. "I've been packed for ages." 

"Yeah, that's everything," James replied, scanning the room. "Ready, Pete?" 

"Yeah, hold on.. let me just get.. found it!" Peter popped out from under his bed, a red and gold scarf in hand. "Right, I'm ready." he panted, dusting himself off. 

"Right, let's get going then!" James declared, leading the others out the door. Remus followed the boys through the common room, bidding Mary and Marlene a goodbye. They rushed through the crowded halls and finally found themselves at the self-pulling carriages. Shoving his trunk in the compartment, Remus jumped onto the carriage, following behind Sirius and James. Peter climbed on as well, and the wagon began to move forward. Remus didn't question the fact that they pulled themselves, it was no use. 

Twenty minutes later, the coach stopped at the Hogsmeade station. It felt weird to be in Hogsmeade without the cloak on; it felt free. The marauders climbed down the steps and shuffled through the train's door. They pushed through slim corridors of students and finally found an empty compartment, clambering inside. 

Sirius settled down next to Remus, which was odd. It was usually James and Sirius who sat together. The boys spoke in hushed voices as students piled onto the train, some cheering and some crying. Why would you cry about leaving school for two weeks? 

The engine began to rumble, and the train was off. Immediately, Sirius leaned into the group. 

"So, what d'you lot want for Christmas?" he asked, grinning. 

"Really, mate, anything will do. You really don't need t--"

"My family is filthy rich. I'm getting you gifts." Sirius insisted, cutting off James's speech of modesty. James shrugged, leaning back into his seat. 

_Great_ , Remus thought. He had forgotten _all_ about gifts; furthermore, he had no money. 

"What about you?" asked Sirius, nudging Remus.

Remus shook his head. 

"You don't have to get me anything. Besides, it's not like I'd be able to return the favor." he yawned, glancing out the window. The compartment fell silent. Remus knew he shouldn't've said that. The silence didn't last long, though. James and Sirius were soon in deep conversation about Gryffindor's previous quidditch match against Slytherin. 

"When I get on the team, I'll be a better chaser than that Welton bloke." James ranted. He was always very passionate when it came to quidditch. 

"Yeah. When I get beater I'll finally be able to knock a Slytherin out without getting in trouble." Sirius chuckled.

A few hours later, the train came to a screeching halt. 

Peering out the window, Remus noticed that they'd arrived at King's Cross. The platform was decorated with red, green, and gold ribbon. Lights were strung across the walls and in the middle stood a big, evergreen tree. It too had been decorated, adorned with shimmery ornaments and tinsel. Remus pulled each boy's trunk from the upper compartment, as he was the only one who could reach. He handed Sirius his trunk after his own, and the four exited the compartment. They bounded out onto the platform, greeted by a woman with curly brown hair and a man standing at her side. He looked like an older version of James, his hair a grayish tone of black. He too had glasses, just like his son. 

"James!" the woman gushed, pulling her son into a hug. "I've missed you, dear!" 

"Missed you too, mum," James muttered through her tight embrace. As his mother released him, James introduced the boys to his mother. "This is Sirius Black," he said. She raised an eyebrow at the last name, but Sirius gave a smile, and she seemed to soften. 

"And this is Remus Lupin," continued James, turning to Remus; Mrs. Potter gave him a kind smile that made Remus a bit less nervous. "And lastly, this is Peter." 

Peter waved, earning another kind smile from Mrs. Potter. 

"It's lovely to meet you all," she beamed, smiling at them all. 

"Euphemia, we'd ought to get going. It's getting dark." the man suggested, tightening his scarf. 

"Oh, I suppose." agreed Mrs. Potter. She lead the boys out of King's Cross and onto the busy streets on London. They walked for a few minutes, finally stopping at a rundown bar. No one else even glanced at the dilapidated pub except for the six of them. "Alright, everybody in." 

Mrs. Potter lead the boys into the rundown pub. Inside were old witches and wizards sitting on barstools with drinks in front of them. It was dark and shabby. Candles glowed faintly at each corner of the bar. A long table protruded across the pub, an unlit fireplace at the end of it. 

"Does anyone want a butter beer before we take the Floo?" Mrs. Potter offered, peering around at the boys. James, Peter, and Sirius nodded with eager faces. Remus had no idea what a butter beer or Floo was, but he followed suit. "Alright, take your seats and I'll be back. Fleamont, stay with the boys, will you?" 

Mr. Potter nodded, smiling. 

"Let's sit over here," beckoned James, pointing to a couple of chairs at the long table. James and Sirius sat on one side of the table, while Remus and Peter sat on the other, just like at school. Mr. Potter took a seat next to James and gave him a pat on the back. 

The boys began to talk about whatever crossed their minds as they awaited Mrs. Potter. Five minutes later, she came padding over with cups of butter beer in her arms. She handed everyone their drink and Remus took a sip. It tasted like butterscotch, hence the name; Remus rather liked sweet things, so he was bound to enjoy the sweet drink. 

A bit later, taking his final sip, Remus followed Mr. and Mrs. Potter as they lead the boys to the unlit mantle. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, so he waited for Mrs. Potter to instruct them. 

"Fleamont, you go first." Mrs. Potter insisted, pushing a bowl of what looked to be gunpowder toward him. He scooped up some of the dust colored substance and stepped inside of the fireplace, his feet buried in soot.

"The Potters'!" bellowed Mr. Potter, throwing the handful of powder at his feet. Green flames burst out of the ground, engulfing Mr. Potter. Once the flame died down, he was gone. Did it hurt? How did it work? These questions absorbed Remus's mind until he found himself alone with Mrs. Potter. 

"Ready, dear?" she asked, the bowl of dust in her hands. 

"Yeah, er, I haven't really done this," Remus muttered, "I grew up with muggles." 

"Ah, not to worry." Mrs. Potter assured. "All you have to do is scoop some Floo Powder into your palm, say the name of the place you're going, and throw it down at your feet." 

Remus understood at once. He was embarrassed to be so oblivious to wizarding technology, but Mrs. Potter didn't make him feel ashamed. He scooped up a handful of floo powder and sunk his feet into the fireplace. 

"The Potters'!" Remus shouted. Suddenly, green flames burst up around him. It didn't burn like he'd thought. It was warm, almost comforting. His throat felt like it was being squeezed and compressed into itself. He felt his body spin and whirl, until he felt his feet leave the ground. The uncomfortable choking feeling didn't last long, though; he soon found himself standing in another fireplace, James, Sirius, Peter, and Mr. Potter waiting at the mantle. The room was big and comfortable, with a cushy looking couch and warm-glowing candles. Remus stepped out of the fireplace, dusting himself off. 

"How was it?" James asked. "It's your first time using the Floo, right?"

"Yeah," Remus nodded. "It was fine, a little weird though." 

Within a few minutes, everyone was in the living room. Mrs. Potter had apparated the boys' trunks from the Leaky Cauldron with her, as they were too big to move with Floo Powder. 

"James will show you all to your rooms," Mrs. Potter began, handing each boy their trunk. "Get settled in and we'll call you all down for dinner." 

Remus's room was to the right of James's, and to the left of Sirius's, while Peter's room was across from Sirius's. The room Remus had been assigned to was warm and cozy. It was quite big, too. The bedspread and curtains were a warm red, matching each other to a tee. Setting his trunk down on the bed, Remus heard faint voices in the other room. He pondered out into the hallway, beginning toward James's room. At Remus's knock, the voices came to a halt. 

Answering the door, James lead Remus inside. The walls were plastered with posters of quidditch players, Gryffindor banners, and magazine cutouts. His bed was a deep red, just like Remus's. Sirius and Peter were in the room as well, admiring James's quidditch broom that lay against the wall. 

"We were wondering if we should ask you to come in," James began, sitting on the bed. "we thought you'd come over on your own time." 

"James?" Sirius asked, broom in his palms. "This is the Nimbus 1000, right? Did you hear about--"

"The Nimbus 1001? Yeah, I asked mum and dad for it but I doubt they'll budge." James finished, as he was very knowledgable on quidditch. 

Gifts. This clouded Remus's mind once again; he had no money. How was he supposed to get gifts? If they got him gifts, and he didn't return the favor, would he be a bad friend? What would they think of him? It was embarrassing enough being poor. 

"What d'you lot say about flying tomorrow?" offered James; Remus had never flown before -- except during their first flying lesson. He wasn't very good at it. Besides, he was terrified of heights. 

"Sure, why not?" Sirius agreed. 

"I'll go too," added Peter. He was an exceptionally good flier for lacking so much confidence. 

"Er, I'm not that good at fl--"

"Nonsense! You're good, I've seen you!" James assured, lying on his bed, snitch in hand. It fluttered and he caught it once more. 

"Okay.." complied Remus. It was no use arguing with James. 

At that moment, a soft knock came at the door. Poking her head in, Mrs. Potter spoke softly. 

"Dinner's ready," she smiled. "dessert is in the oven if you fancy it." 

Something Remus appreciated about Mrs. Potter was that she hadn't even glanced at the faded scars on his face. Most people, adults included, stared at Remus for this. Perhaps some knew; maybe some stayed oblivious. 

Remus followed James and Sirius out the door, Peter lagging behind. They climbed down the carpeted steps, the aroma of turkey and something sweet wafting through the air. Emerging onto the landing, the boys filed into the dining room. It was quite cozy, despite how large the room was. Each seat was supplied with silverware, glasses, plates, bowls, and napkins. Instead of Peter sitting next to Remus, Sirius chose a seat to the right of Remus. It was just like on the train; why the sudden change of arrangements? This, Remus didn't know. 

Mrs. Potter, a plate of turkey in her arms, entered the dining room. She set it down on the table and pulled her oven mitts off, taking a seat next to Mr. Potter. 

"Alright, everyone dig in!" Mrs. Potter smiled, scooping food onto her own plate. Remus spooned some turkey and mashed potatoes onto his plate, followed by the multiple casseroles being served. The food was amazing -- did they eat this every night? Remus always took advantage of opportunities to eat extra food, as the home provided off-brand cereal and bread for each meal. 

After dinner, James invited the others to his room. They hung around, drowsy with food in their stomachs. They made conversation about whatever crossed their minds. 

"It's getting late," Sirius yawned, stretching his arms. "I'm off to bed." 

Peter followed suit. Remus followed them both out the door, waving goodnight to a half-asleep James. He branched off to his room, pushing the door open lazily. He grabbed a set of clothes out of his trunk and pulled them on. He stumbled out of the doorway, toothbrush in hand. Reaching the bathroom door, Remus noticed the light pouring out from under it. Sirius shoved the door open dozily, jumping at the sight of Remus. 

"Sorry mate!" Remus said as Sirius softened his gaze. 

"Blimey, you scared me." he panted, trailing off back to his room. Chuckling a little, Remus sauntered into the now vacant bathroom. He squeezed a bit of minty toothpaste onto his toothbrush and scrubbed hard; Ms. Edwards _hated_ when the boys got cavities, so Remus did his best to avoid her angry outbursts. Spitting out the excess, Remus splashed his face with water, patting himself dry with a towel. 

***

_Thursday December 24, 1971_

Remus's stay at the Potters' had been nothing short of brilliant. Each day was filled with food, games, snow, and celebration. Remus rather liked James's mum; she was the nicest adult he'd ever met. 

Remus awoke to the smell of fried eggs and bacon on the stove. His stomach rumbled with hunger as the full moon approached. Sliding out of bed, Remus dressed and washed up, feeling fresh for their trip to Diagon Alley. Mrs. Potter had insisted on going to Diagon Alley that day, and James clung to the idea. He kept going on about how much he wanted to go to Florean Fortescue's, an ice cream parlour in the middle of the village. 

Despite the excitement around the subject of Diagon Alley, Remus hated to admit it, but he was dreading every bit of it. Everyone was sure to get their shopping done in the village, and again, he had no muggle _or_ wizard money. Like Remus told them, they shouldn't expect much; he was poor after all. 

After clearing the table, Mrs. Potter flung her coat and scarf on. 

"Boys, we should get going now!" she called, pulling a glove over her hand. "We have guests coming later, as well as a blizzard." The marauders pulled on their cloaks, hats, scarves, and gloves, much like Mrs. Potter had instructed. "We're taking the Floo again, so everyone say 'The Leaky Cauldron'."

Remus had become rather confident using the Floo network. It was simple once you looked past the suffocating and dizziness. Taking his handful after Sirius, Remus yelled 'the leaky cauldron!' as clearly as he could. Flames engrossed his body, much like last time. He felt his throat close up and his head start to spin. Suddenly, he had reappeared in the same old, creaky pub, except witches and wizards were ordering their morning tea. Emerging from the fireplace, Remus took a seat next to James, across from Sirius. Peter soon arrived, followed by Mrs. and Mr. Potter. 

"Is everyone ready?" Mrs. Potter asked, peering at the row of boys. 

"Can we get ice cream first?" begged James, oblivious to the cold sheets snow outside. 

"Why would you want ice cream in this weather?" she tutted. "If you really want to, you can go when we're done shopping. I'm not having you complain the whole time about being old." 

James let out a groan as Mrs. Potter marched on, leading the boys into the village. The street was vibrant and busy with families of wizards doing last minute shopping. Shops were full of bustling customers, while the lane was decorated head to toe in red and green. Soft music played throughout the village, its instruments consisting of the saxophone, piano, and the viola. It looked better than any other London street, with baubles and tinsel surrounding every shop. The scent of warm cocoa flooded the suddenly less cold air, filling Remus's nostrils. 

After a minute or two of begging, James finally got permission for the boys to shop on their own. 

"I swear, we'll be back in an hour!" James called, dragging the others further into the village. 

"James, we can walk on our own!" Sirius laughed, pulling away from James's grip. "Where d'you want to go first?"

"We could try Gambol and Japes," suggested Sirius, brushing his hair behind his neck. "s' a joke shop Reg and I have always wanted to go to." 

Remus had no idea who 'Reg' was, but he assumed it was someone in Sirius's family. 

"I heard that they got new joke stuff," James nodded, standing on his on his toes in attempt of seeing down the lane. "it's just down there, want to go?"

"Sure," Remus shrugged. It was best to just make the most of the trip, despite having no money. He might as well tell them now.

"I haven't really got any money." hesitated Remus, a bit red in the face. 

"No worries mate, I can pay." James patted Remus on the shoulder. 

"No really it's f--"

"I'm paying." insisted James, dragging Remus down there street along with the others. Once Remus had wiggled out of James's grasp, he caught up next to Peter. They swerved through the busy street, pushing past families and children. Finally reaching the shop, James pushed as hard as he could on the door. 

"Mate, it's a pull--"

"I know, I know," James snapped, embarrassed by his mistake. Bells chimed as the boys entered the shop warm. The shelves had been painted red and white, in the pattern of stripes. Each shelf was jammed with rows of joke items, candies, and toys. The joke shop, too, had been decorated according to the holidays. Mini evergreens were stationed at each corner of the shop, while ornaments hung from tinsel on the shelves. 

"Blimey, I didn't know it had all this," Sirius gaped. 

Thirty minutes later, the boys emerged from the shop with piles of candy and joke items in their arms. Laughing, James gave Remus a nudge in the ribcage. 

"I swear I'll pay you back once I--" 

"Absolutely not. I _wanted_ to pay." interrupted James. Remus was rather relieved, as he had no idea where to start when it came to saving up money. With half an hour left, the marauders decided to pay a visit to Quality Quidditch Supplies. Again, Remus didn't care for quidditch, but the others had insisted on going. The shop was packed with brooms, broom wax, jerseys, posters, enchanted miniature quidditch players that flew around on brooms, and team banners. James and Sirius were the most interested in the shop; they had to touch every item. Apparently, their hour was up as Mrs. Potter came hurrying into the shop. 

"Is everyone ready to checkout?" she asked. Everyone nodded and gathered into a line by the counter. Once everyone had checked out, Mrs. Potter lead them to the ice cream parlour begrudgingly. 

"I've no idea how you boys can eat ice cream in this weather," she shivered, sipping her butter beer. Remus _hated_ the cold, but he couldn't pass up ice cream. He had gotten his ice cream in the flavor of chocolate fudge; Remus enjoyed sweet things. Both James and Sirius had chosen strawberry, and Peter had decided on vanilla. They sat in the back corner of the shop, huddled away from the cold. 

By the time they were outside, everyone was shivering. Mixing ice cream and cold weather was never a good idea, but James couldn't resist. Mr. and Mrs. Potter shopped for an hour longer, the marauders at their side. Some of the boys did their Christmas shopping as well, except for Remus. He would've liked to give his friends gifts. 

The boys and James's parents took the fireplace in The Leaky Cauldron home in order to prepare for their Christmas party. James had said something about a Christmas party that day, but Remus assumed it'd be a small get-together. He was wrong. Apparently, the Potters' had a lot of family friends and extended family. Witches and wizards of all ages came flooding into their home. Music played gently throughout the house as the guests drank and ate. 

Mrs. Potter came into the living room where the boys sat, setting down a plate of freshly baked biscuits. 

"If you boys want to go upstairs, you're allowed." Mrs. Potter smiled. 

"Oh, d'you want to go to my room?" James asked the boys, suddenly elated. 

"Sure. I packed the record player, too." nodded Sirius. The four climbed up the steps, escaping the party. James lead the others into his room as Sirius fetched the record player. Panting, Sirius pushed into James's room. 

"Got it!" he announced. "What should we play?" Sirius asked, referring to Remus. 

"Er, what did you bring?" yawned Remus, flipping through the records Sirius had pushed toward him. 

"How about this one?" said Remus, pulling _Space Oddity_ out of the pile. He placed the disk onto the vacant record player, and the gentle tune of _Space Oddity_ started to play. He began to sway jokingly to the song. Snorting, Sirius joined in, followed by James and Peter. Soon, all four of them were swaying to the soft hum of the record player. 

They sped up with the rhythm of the song, slowing when the tune softened. For once, Remus felt like nothing mattered. Listening to music made every thought in his head stop for a while, freeing him. He didn't care if he looked stupid, rocking about. No one else cared, so why should he?

Gently, Sirius sang along to the lyrics. 

"Ground control to major Tom, your circuit's dead," 

"There's something wrong," Remus added. 

"Can you hear me, major Tom?' finished James, repeating the phrase softly. As the song faded, the four collapsed onto the bed, content. The hum of Christmas music wafted throughout the house from downstairs, filling the silence that followed. 

"Good song." Sirius yawned, eyes closed. Sirius was right. It was a good song. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two will be out soon! Thanks for all the kudos and comments!


	13. Christmas Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try to get chapters out quicker! I want to move the plot on a bit so they should be in second year in a few chapters!

_Friday December 25, 1971_

Awakening to the sound of whispers, Remus found himself in James's room with the other marauders. Apparently they'd all fell asleep there; that didn't matter, though -- it was Christmas morning, and that promised presents! Bolting down the steps behind Sirius, Remus caught a glimpse of the tree's skirt, adorned with presents and gift bags. Instead of three stockings, there were six, labeled with the first letter of each boy's name. Those, too, were filled with all sorts of treats: a wide range of sweets, plenty of Zonko's products, and last but not least, chocolate galleons.

Beaming, Mrs. Potter emerged from the kitchen, a tray of biscuits in her arms. At the Potters', it was never too early for sweets, especially on Christmas. 

"Go on, you don't need permission!" the woman urged, beckoning the boys toward the tree. To Remus's surprise, there were just as many gifts for him as there were James. This made him feel a great appreciation toward Mrs. Potter. It made him feel _equal._ Each boy rifled through the mounds of wrapping paper and ribbons under the tree, tearing and ripping every piece. From James, he'd received a wide variety of sweets from Honeydukes and a few books that looked Remus-worthy. Peter had given him a new Gryffindor scarf (making up for the one Remus had lost), and a copious amount of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. As Remus opened Sirius's gift, he caught a glimpse of the coy smile rousing on Sirius' face. 

The whole Hunky Dory album. Every. Single. Song. 

"Blimey!" exclaimed Remus, beaming. "Thanks, mate! All of you!"

"S' no problem," smiled James, throwing a piece of wrapping paper aside. Sirius said nothing, but Remus could feel his pride. 

Noticing even more gifts, Remus seized a cushy package. _It's definitely some type of sweater,_ he thought, turning it over in his hands. James, Sirius, and Peter had gotten the same packages as well, though they'd been wrapped in different patterns and colors. Tearing open the gift, James snorted. His eyes darted to the other marauders' gifts. 

"Mum, you did not get us identical sw--"

"Yes, I did." interrupted James's mother, rather proud at her attempt to embarrass the boys. 

"We aren't wearing these--"

"Live a little, Potter!" Sirius laughed, clapping an arm around James. "We're all gonna wear them. Right, Lupin?" 

Not expecting to be addressed, Remus snapped up. "Yeah, yeah, definitely," he grinned, eyeing James. 

"Oi, Pettigrew, put it on too!" called Sirius, pulling his garment over this head. Remus and Peter followed suit, snickering at a miserable James. By time they all had their sweaters on, James hadn't moved an inch. 

"C'mon, put it on," nudged Sirius, pushing the blue sweater toward James. Sighing, he pulled the sweater over his head, leaving his glasses askew. Sirius awed mockingly.

"You look _beautiful_ ," Sirius swooned as if he were a love stricken girl. 

The Potters' had given Remus (and the other marauders, of course) plenty of sweets and Zonko's products. By the time every piece of wrapping paper had been cleaned up, Mr. potter was already planning a tobogganing trip. Despite the fact that he was a bit older, he still managed to have fun. He'd already taken the marauders on multiple skiing trips and snowball fights, so this was no different. 

Mr. Potter summoned five toboggans (one extra for himself), and lead the boys out into the front yard. Thick snow had fallen the night before; perfect for sledding. The snow was fluffy and malleable, so getting a slick trail would take a few tries. The Potters' home was right on top of a hill; therefore, the backyard was their sledding range. They were sure to have rosy cheeks and red noses by the end of it. 

***

Thankfully, their last days breezed by slowly. Remus had very limited time with the Potters left, so he opted to make the most of it. Even if he didn't particularly _like_ the early quidditch training with James, he still went along with it. How long would it take him to finally understand that Remus didn't like sports? What Remus had hated even more than sports was heights; quidditch was a combination of the two. 

Each night was spent swaying their heads to albums by Bowie and Led Zeppelin, and Remus rather enjoyed it. The boys at the home had always listened to Bowie when Ms. Edwards wasn't around, so it made Remus feel right at home. He was surprised that someone as posh as Sirius would like muggle stuff, James included. After all, they were from pureblood families. 

Remus had come to the conclusion that Sirius wanted to disobey his family as much as possible, so taking a liking to muggle stuff was the jackpot. James, on the other hand, was just raised right. His family was far from prejudiced. That soothed Remus; the first time he'd met the family, Remus was quite anxious about the possibility of them being like Sirius's lot. The second Mrs. Potter shot Remus a warm smile, he knew that he could trust her. He'd never been able to trust adults; they always disappointed him with false hope and lectures. 

One day before their departure, Remus found himself starting to miss the Potters' house, and he hadn't even left yet! Everything from the warmth of the fireplace to the cooking, he'd miss. Maybe it wasn't just that; maybe it was the fact that no other adult had treated Remus the way Mr. and Mrs. Potter had. They treated him like a son of their own.

James, Sirius, and Peter had all insisted on returning to Hogwarts when Remus had, so they too were packing their trunks that Saturday night. Rain was rapping on the roof gently as droplets of water engulfed every window sill. Remus had taken to his room to seek a missing shoe, when he noticed a note atop his books. Picking it up, he read the note hastily. 'I've given the album a listen already -- I hope you like it. -S.O.B.'. 

Of course the note was from Sirius -- Remus had known ever since he read the first two words. Sirius took pride in his perfect grammar; Remus, on the other hand, had the accent of a southern Londoner. Sirius was so _posh_ and _rich_. He'd even told Remus that he was fluent in French!

Remus _did_ like the album, and so did the other marauders -- particularly Sirius. Their last night together (or at least at the Potters') was spent in James's room with the record player humming. The tune of _Changes_ filled Remus's ears as Sirius began to sway playfully. Soon, everyone was on their feet, following suit. Even Peter, who was usually very awkward, began to dance.

"Ch-ch-ch-changes!" sang Sirius. Instead of leaving James to join Sirius, Remus joined in. He echoed him loudly, earning a grin from Sirius. 

"I've never heard you sing, Lupin!" James called over the music. 

When the chorus returned, everyone sang the lyrics in loud unison. They listened to every song in the album, and after an hour, the four were sprawled out across James's floor. It was so fun -- having friends. Remus, who was panting, pulled himself up off the floor. 

"Where're you going, mate?" yawned James, wiping sweat off of his forehead. 

"To bed, I'm knackered." he muttered back, drawing each record back into its case. Remus lifted the album and began out the door. Sirius and Peter were already asleep. "See you in the morning." 

He trudged into his room with the stack of records in his arms. It was nearly one-thirty. Exhaling with exhaustion, Remus pulled back his sheets, too drowsy to change into pajamas. His head met the cool pillow, chilling his neck as his eyes fluttered shut. Remus fell into a dream-like daze -- he was still awake and he knew that. This was different though; it was a memory. A blonde woman in an apron stood over a stovetop and began flipping an egg. She wore a warm smile, much like Mrs. Potter's. She was dainty and had light freckles planted across her nose. She was young, too. Who was she?

"Yolk cracked?" she asked, her kind blue eyes sweeping over Remus. He was smaller -- innocent. Was the sandy blonde woman related to Remus? She was familiar; he had known her. 

***

Remus jerked awake, finding himself face-to-face with Sirius. 

"Bloody hell, Black!" he yelped, sitting up. James and Peter were standing around his bed as well holding trunks and traveling cloaks. 

"Sorry, sorry!" snorted Sirius, backing away.

"It's eleven a.m., we thought you were dead," James chuckled. 

"I'm alive," Remus huffed, pulling himself out of bed. He made his way across the room and began to collect his trunk. "Mind leaving? I'll be out in five minutes," said Remus, scanning the now ajar dresser for a shirt. 

"Yeah," James nodded, pulling the others out with him. "breakfast's downstairs if you're hungry." 

He dressed in silence, his eyes avoiding the scars planted across his arms and chest. Still a bit shaken from Sirius's jump scare, Remus plodded down the steps with his trunk clunking behind him. In the foyer, Mrs. Potter had James, Sirius, and Peter pulled into a tight embrace. 

"I'm going to miss you all," she smiled, releasing them. Remus wasn't much of a hugger, but by time Mrs. Potter had spotted him, he was in the best hug he ever had. Maybe he hadn't been hugged enough. "Remus, dear, do you have all of your stuff?" 

"Yeah," smiled Remus, patting his luggage. 

"Perfect!" she nodded, turning to the others. "Well, let's get going now." 

Mrs. Potter showed them to the fireplace, placing a bit of Floo-powder in everyones' palm. The five arrived at The Leaky Cauldron, much like last time, and made their way down the rainy streets of London. After a good twenty minutes, they'd finally made it to King's Cross. Mrs. Potter lead them into the station and onto Platform 9 3/4, bidding them goodbye. 

"Write to me, James!" she called. "Don't do anything stupi--"

Before she could finish her statement, the four were already leaving. 

Much like their previous train rides, their compartment was filled with conversation and sweets from the trolley. While Sirius and James bickered back and forth about quidditch, per usual, Remus stuck to his book.

"They need a new chaser!" exclaimed James. 

"No they don't! What they need is a new seeker! The Cannons always lose because the other team's seeker gets the snitch fir-" 

"But they need to actually _play_! The seeker just ends the game, they should actually beat people on skill-" 

Closing his book hard, Remus looked up,

"Can you lot shut up?" he tutted. Peter looked taken aback. "Not you, Pete." 

"Well maybe if Sirius wanted the Cannons to win on talent--"

"I never said they can't win on talent! They just need a better seeker!" 

Remus sighed, returning to his book. He flicked to the page he had left off on and began to read. Remus wasn't _that_ mad. They were his friends, after all. 

An hour or two later, the train came to a halt at the Hogsmeade station. Much like last time, Remus handed everyone their trunks as he was the only person who could reach. The boys made their way down the fairly vacant aisle, and onto the platform. The sun began to dim around four p.m. each day, further indications that it was winter. The cold air chilled their necks as they trudged towards the carriages. 

The night was spent in the common room playing tumultuous games of exploding snap. Sirius had insisted on playing against Remus after ten losses. 

"Please?" pleaded Sirius, attempting to persuade Remus. 

"Fine," he sighed, glancing at a yawning James. 

About six games in, Remus had beaten Sirius at a total of four times. It was quite easy if you had a good memory, and Remus possessed just that. Sirius was quick, but lacked the memorization part. He kept tapping the wrong cards with his wand and Remus couldn't help but snicker. 

Fifteen games later, Remus had won twelve and Sirius had won three. He didn't think he would win _any_ , and Sirius probably thought that too. He wouldn't even look at Remus and James out of sheer embarrassment. 

His envy did not last long, though. The four soon made their way toward the Great Hall. The tables were quite empty, except for a few students and teachers. No one sat at their assigned house table; even teachers were out of their seats, chatting with the older students. The Slytherin prefect that had ruined the snowball fight glared at the marauders as they took their usual spots, apparently still angry about the debacle. 

That didn't matter, though -- the best part was that Snape was no where to be seen! For the marauders, this was a win. But the downside was that Mary, Marlene, (and Remus hated to say it), but Lily, were not in the hall either. 

Food appeared on the table and Remus scooped as much as he could onto his plate; it had been a long train ride, and sweets weren't cutting it with the full moon so close. 

"Slow down, mate," chuckled James as Remus stuffed a bite of chicken into his mouth. 

"Sorry for being hungry when the f-" Remus stopped himself; how did that almost slip out? How could he have been so careless? "..when the trolley was all I had to eat." 

He knew his words didn't make sense, but it was better than his darkest secret being revealed. The three just stared at him, confused looks on their faces. Had he given it all away?

***

_Wednesday December 29, 1971_

As the full moon approached, Remus's senses sharpened and he became ravenous as ever. His emotions became stronger as well. Perhaps the others had noticed this change of attitude too, as they were rather careful with what they said around Remus. He didn't like being treated gently, he just wanted to be normal -- like everyone else.

The day was spent in the common room (like most days during their break) next to the fire. By time dinner came around, Remus had the perfect excuse. 

"I don't feel that good," he said, swallowing. He was good at acting sick; it had gotten him out of many sports and chores. "Mind if I go to Madam Pomfrey?" 

"Oh. D'you need us to walk you down?" asked James, giving Sirius a look. Did they know -- or was this a coincidence?

"No thanks," Remus declined, beginning toward the hospital wing. "save a plate for me, will you?" 

He didn't look back. The sight of James giving Sirius that furtive look made his skin crawl. He had to come up with something. Anything. When he finally arrived at the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey, the kind medi-witch, was awaiting Remus. 

"Ready, dear?" she asked, placing a hand on Remus's shoulder. He nodded. The pair slunk though the empty corridors and out into the lawn, whose grass was overshadowed by the night. They crossed yards toward the Whomping Willow, and Madam Pomfrey slid a hand upon a thick root that stuck out from under the tree. The branches that had previously thrashed about came to a halt, and the two ducked into the dark passageway. The tunnel was far earthier than the one to Honeydukes. Roots stuck out of the walls and wrapped around in peculiar patterns. 

When they'd emerged into the wooden shack, Remus found a pile of blankets and a mattress on the floor. 

"I hope it's not too bad tonight, Remus," the medi-witch whispered, pulling him into a hug. "When it's all over we'll have you healed immediately." 

Remus didn't say anything, but merely waved her away as the painful transformation began. She seemed to understand what was happening as she rushed out of the door, her condolences going out to Remus. 

He could feel the moon wax into its full phase as his spine throbbed and buckled. His jaw lengthened and he felt sharp teeth pierce his gums. Pain. Just pain. He grew taller and his eyes became a dark yellow with black slits for pupils. Everything began to fade at last, as he let out a loud howl. 

Sunlight reflected off of the snow and into the shabby little shack's window. It felt like Remus had just been whacked with a bat. His vision returned and his body felt heavy. His ribcage and shoulders felt like they'd been stepped on, and with every breath, his ribs screamed. Remus felt warm blood seep from a fresh wound. But this time, on his face. He traced the new gash, feeling where it started and end. 

It began at the inner tip of his eyebrow and cut across his face diagonally, right over his nose. It jutted down onto his cheek and grazed the corner of his mouth. How would he keep his secret now?

Madam Pomfrey gave a knock at the door, and all Remus could do was let out a weak croak. She pushed the door open and sprung toward Remus, a look of worry in her eyes. 

"Remus..." she whispered as her eyes trailed across every wound. Remus thought he caught a glimpse of a tear, but she brushed it away and pulled out her wand. She tapped each rib and broken bone lightly, snapping them back into place painlessly. The last thing he needed was pain. He felt his bones heal and he felt a bit stronger, but still fragile. After tending to his major injuries, she spoke. "It's still a bit dark out, is that okay?" 

He nodded. The last thing he wanted was to be seen in such a state. All he wanted to do was get out of that depressing shack that haunted him. Madam Pomfrey pulled Remus up gently and allowed him to balance himself on her arm. 

"We're almost there," she said soothingly after ten minutes of walking. Madam Pomfrey lead Remus inside and down a few more hallways until they'd finally gotten to the hospital wing. She helped Remus into bed and began to heal each cut. Of course there would be scars; of course this part of him would be permanent -- no matter how much the cuts faded. "Is that better?" she asked, padding ointment onto Remus's skin. 

"Yeah," he croaked. 

"I want you to sleep," the medi-witch began, handing a bottle of sleeping draught to Remus. He had a request; no -- an order. 

"Don't let them in," he rasped. "My friends." 

Madam Pomfrey nodded, complying without question. Finally. Remus didn't have to explain himself. 

That day was spent alone in the hospital wing, taking doses after doses of medicine. He felt like everything was finally healing. Except for the scars, of course. They would close up, of course, but they would never never completely fade. He tried not to think of it too much. 

Every time the marauders knocked at the hospital wing (which was a total of eight times), Madam Pomfrey shooed them off. Remus did feel quite lonely, but it was for the best. If they saw him in this state, every suspicion they might've had would be confirmed. 

During his stay in the hospital wing, Remus had come up with a few excuses. One was that he'd been hit with a hex from that angry Slytherin prefect, and another was that he'd fallen down the fight of stairs leading to the astronomy tower. Maybe they would buy it. By time it was seven o'clock, Remus was ravenous. 

"Please?" he asked, referring to a trip to the Great Hall for dinner. "I'll be careful, I swear!" 

"Remus, you know I can't let you," the woman sighed, applying another layer of medicine to Remus's nearly healed scar. 

"I'll come back to the hospital wing after, just please!" he begged, flinching at the stinging ointment being dabbed across his nose. She hesitated. 

"Fine..." she said after a minute. "be careful, please. And there's no need to return to the hospital wing after. I want you straight to bed after dinner." 

Freedom at last. As he stood up from the bed, his body ached. He didn't pay any attention to it, though. He couldn't bear another minute in that bed. He paced out into the corridor, and luckily, his friends weren't waiting for him. 

_Hopefully they've already eaten_ , he thought to himself. He had decided to avoid them as much as he could. Remus's gut wrenched at the thought of being questioned about his disappearance over dinner. 

Remus almost passed the Great Hall, as he was in such deep thought. He shuffled inside, looking at his moving feet. When he'd gotten to his usual seat, no one was there. The knot in his stomach unraveled at the sight. No questions. 

He shoved food onto his plate and scoffed it down and the hunger in his stomach began to fade. He had seconds, and even thirds until he was content. Gulping down pumpkin juice, Remus heard a voice from behind him. 

"Didn't care to tell us what happened? Maybe where you were?" leered Sirius, crossing his arms. His stomach dropped. As he turned to face the three, their expressions changed. Three pairs of eyes trailed across Remus's face at once, scanning the pink laceration. Sirius looked at the floor. Remus felt a wrench of anger. Who did he think he was? That wasn't any of _his_ business. 

"Why should I have to explain what _I_ do to _you_?" Remus snapped. Peter's eyes shot back to the ground and Sirius swallowed.

They were scared of him. 

"We're, er," James cleared his throat. "We were worried." 

"Stop worrying about what I do and piss off, okay?" he shot back, returning to his empty plate. A minute later, they were gone. All gone. Why did Remus care? He didn't owe them an explanation! He owed them _nothing._

After a minute or two of wiping tears from his eyes, Remus got up and proceeded into the hallway. He took a new way to the Gryffindor common room this time. He couldn't just walk back into their dorm! He had to wait. He knew that drawing attention to himself would only end with trouble.

He wasn't sure of the time, but it was definitely late; he began toward the common room, picking up his pace. The common room was empty, except for a seventh year huddled in the corner with a book. She had a scar, but it wasn't the same. 

Anxiety absorbed his stomach, making him feel nauseous as he plundered up the steps. Leaning an ear against the door, Remus listened. Nothing. He pushed the door open gently and each curtain was closed. Remus tip-toed into bed, trying his best to stay quiet. He pulled his curtains shut and took a breath. 

He stared at the ceiling for a while, wondering what it'd be like to be normal. What would it be like to know your parents? What would it be like to come from money? Why should he have to worry about ripping himself apart every full moon at such a young age? He often asked himself these questions, yet he had no answer.

Footsteps padded on the floor and up to Remus's bed. Apparently he wasn't quiet enough. Or were they waiting for him? 

"Remus?" asked a soft voice that Remus recognized as Sirius's. "Can I come in?" 

Reluctantly, Remus inched the curtain open just enough so that the boy could fit inside. Climbing in, Sirius lit his wand after pulling the curtain shut. Remus moved aside, making room for Sirius. He swallowed. 

"I'm sorry, er, we're sorry," he said after a minute. "We were just worried about you." 

"Er.. thanks,"

Remus wanted to say sorry back -- he wanted to forgive him, but he found it hard to apologize in that moment. He stayed silent. 

Sirius cleared his throat and looked up, brushing his hair to the side. "Is it okay if I ask you something?" he whispered, looking deep into Remus' eyes. He nodded, heart thumping. This was it. They knew. He might as well say goodbye to Hogwarts. His world was about to come crashing down in front of him before it had even started. 

"What's it like?" he started, adjusting his shirt sleeve. Remus stared. "At the home." 

Of course. All of the anxiety in Remus's throat dissolved and he became aware of the question at hand. 

"D'you want an honest answer?" Remus asked, relieved. Sirius cracked a smile. "It's okay, I s'pose. Still have to watch out for the older boys, though."

Sirius looked like he had a burning question that he had wanted to ask for a while. 

"Is it okay if I, uh, ask something else?" muttered Sirius, eyes trailing down the slash driven across Remus' face. He nodded once more. "Where are your, er, scars from?"

Remus sighed. 

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want t--"

"The older students hex me a lot," he said a little bit too quickly. The lie came out easily. "...and I've always been a bit clumsy, I guess. " 

Sirius nodded, looking back down at his knees. Maybe Sirius bought it, maybe he didn't. Only time would tell.


	14. Early Months of 72'

_January and February of 1972_

The night before had been spent celebrating after the whole debacle the previous day. Remus forgave them, and on the thirty-first, celebrated at midnight. The occasion meant new beginnings, but Remus didn't feel any different. The other marauders had mapped out schemes and pranks to pull in the upcoming year, improving on previous their mistakes. 

"It'll be great," beamed Sirius, head hanging off of his four-poster. "We could take another trip to Hogsmeade with the cloak and stock up, too."

"And we should work on the map," interjected Remus, suddenly remembering the dusty piece of parchment in his sock drawer.

"Blimey, I forgot that existed," James called from the bathroom. He was combing his hair -- and rather than untangling it, he attempted to make it messier. Probably for Lily. "But yeah, that'd be useful to have." 

It was nearly time for the rest of the students to return to Hogwarts, and the four were getting ready for lunch since they'd skipped breakfast. It'd be hard to get back into the swing of things after having two weeks off. Remus was now used to not having any work or assignments, and the thought of facing reality sent a sense of dread into Remus's body. This feeling was soon pushed out by the arrival of Mary, Marlene, and Lily, who were all wearing new sweaters and blouses. Lily even took to putting a new butterfly clip into her hair, and James thought it looked _very_ nice. 

After chatting with the girls over lunch, Remus made his way into the library to pick a book up on transfiguration. Before the holidays, McGonagall had told the class that the subject would get a lot harder, and Remus had taken this sudden announcement to heart. 

And she was right; as lessons kicked back up again, the course material became challenging as ever. With Remus's memory, he only needed to skim over his notes in order to pass a test, but that was all theory based. The incantations became harder and the essays became more demanding. It didn't help that Remus was in the hospital all the time, either. But luckily, that was only once a month, and James kept him up to date on notes. 

January was composed of scheming against Snape, turning in assignments, receiving well-deserved detentions, attending early quidditch practice (on James's behalf), and listening to Mary and Marlene giggle about their latest celebrity crushes. It wasn't bad, though; just very cold. Remus _hated_ the cold. He hated the way it would creep up the back of your shirt and chill your whole body. Even though he hated winter with a passion, it was yet another excuse to wear sweaters -- an easy way to cover up his scars. 

On the topic of scars, his latest scar (the one on his face) had faded to a tender pink. It was a lot less irritated, though. Madam Pomfrey had lent him the jar of ointment she'd used on his scars before, and it worked quite well. Of course, it would take time for his scars to completely heal.

"How'd you do on the essay?" Mary sighed as the three departed from transfiguration. "I bet I've made a right fool of myself."

"I think you'll do fine," Remus reassured, nudging her side. "You're bloody amazing. I mean, blimey, you're better than that one Ravenclaw!"

She stood a little straighter. "Thanks, Lupin," she snorted, turning to Marlene now. "D'you still have the notes for potions?" 

Marlene shook her head. "Oh... nah, gave 'em to Addler."

"Ooh, did he ask you for his notes?" giggled Mary as Marlene's cheeks went red. 

"Yeah," she muttered, avoiding Mary's gaze. Remus chuckled, though deep down he hated the thought of having crushes. It's not that he had a problem with fancying someone -- he just found it annoying. 

"D'you think he fancies you?" whispered Mary, tittering at Marlene's embarrassment. 

Winston, the boy they'd been talking about, had caught Remus crying in the bathroom. How embarrassing. Remus had decided from that day forward to avoid him at all costs. 

"I think he fancies that one Hufflepuff," blushed Marlene in attempt to draw attention away from herself. "Besides, I don't think we've ever properly spoken before." 

The three bounded into Potions, much like every other Wednesday. During January, Potions got harder as well. In fact, every subjects' standard had been risen.

After the full moon, Remus found himself buried in homework during the month of February. 

The halls were decked out in red and pink hearts, as well as gushy cards and streamers. Love notes flew across the corridors into the hands of beaming students and the scent of roses wafted throughout the corridors. Mary and Marlene _loved_ Valentines Day. In fact, they'd even sent some cards of their own to a boys they fancied. 

James took this opportunity to ask Lily out (which made Remus snicker), and he failed miserably each time. 

"C'mon, please?" pleaded James, dejected. "Would you rather go out with that Snivellous?"

Lily turned. "Don't call him that," she fumed, eyes full of anger. "And no, I don't want to go out with anyone! We're way too young for any of this lovey dove stu--"

"So you mean there's a chance in the future--"

"No!"

She stormed away, red in the face. Remus secretly agreed with her -- they were far to young to care about this type of stuff. Sirius thought the whole thing was stupid too, but of course, Peter sided with James.

Sirius had received the most cards out of the group, while James came second. Remus had received three, which surprised him. Who would fancy him? They _definitely_ wouldn't fancy him if they knew about his condition. Why couldn't they just like Sirius or something? The thought made him squeamish. Lovey dovey stuff made him uncomfortable -- it was just so _girly_. 

***

Exams were drawing closer -- or at least a few months closer. They'd been set for mid-June, and Remus decided to study as hard as he could. He did not feel like failing, and he'd made it so far already, so why give up now? 

"Library?" James asked the others that evening after lessons.

"Library," they replied in unison. Remus set off down the hall after Sirius and James, who were clutching their notes as if they'd fly away. 

After two dreadfully long hours in the library, the four bounded into the Great Hall for dinner. _Hopefully,_ Remus thought to himself, _exams won't fall on the full moon._

If there were any distractions he'd surely fail. The thought tore at Remus's mind like a dagger as he scooped mashed potatoes into his mouth. His appetite was not as thick as it was near the full moon, and Sirius seemed to take notice. 

"Blimey, done already?" he asked, eyeing Remus's half-eaten plate. "You haven't even finished." 

"Just not that hungry, I guess," shrugged Remus, adjusting his shirt collar to cover yet another scar. "Why're you so worried about my eating habits? Worry about your own food." 

Sirius snorted at this and returned to his plate, glancing up at Remus every once in a while. 

The next day in Charms, Lily plopped down next to Remus where Peter usually sat.

"Hi, Remus," she smiled, pulling a quill from her bag. 

"Hey," he returned politely. Lily wasn't so bad, and neither were Mary and Marlene.

Lily was probably the nicest toward Remus, even if he didn't like her very much. Though, she had very strong opinions on James, and Remus felt slightly offended -- after all, James was still his friend. 

"He's so full of himself!" Lily scoffed as James rumpled up his hair in the back. "I mean, look at him!" 

"I dunno, Evans. It's kind of hypocritical," yawned Remus. "You're always with Snivellous."

"Don't call him that!" she hissed, much like the previous time they'd made an insult toward him. Remus shrugged. She'd come around. 

As lessons dragged on that week and February came to a close, the moon drew closer. It was set for the twenty-eighth, and Remus was dreading it. He felt like the last moon was just yesterday, and here comes another! It wasn't for three days, though, so he still had some time with the marauders. 

He'd also decided to keep the others out of the hospital wing while he stayed -- it was all too risky. His excuses were becoming weaker and they would know with one little slip-up. Remus's magic grew stronger as well; the waxing moon sent volts of power through Remus as he performed his charms homework, nearly setting Sirius's tie on fire for a second time. 

"Oi, slow down!" he scowled from across the room. His tie had been lucky -- Remus had only missed by an inch. 

"Sorry, sorry!" Remus yelled, dusting the faint burn marks off of the tie that hung from Sirius' four-poster. 

That night, Remus rolled around in bed. He tossed over, feeling restless as ever. It was no use trying to sleep. He crept out of bed and down the steps, making sure to not wake the others. Sirius _needed_ his beauty sleep, James loved to know what you were doing, and Peter would ask to go with you. 

As he descended into the common room, he found himself face-to-face with a crying Lily.

_Oh god_ , he thought as she noticed his presence. He was not the best at consoling crying people -- in fact, he'd never really been face-to-face with a crying girl. 

"Hi Remus," she sniffed, brushing tears away from her face. "What're you doing up so late?" 

"Er, couldn't sleep," he replied. Remus hesitated. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah," she gulped, fiddling with a torn letter in her hands. "Petunia's just written back, she doesn't like me, I don't think."

Perfect. He was in no place to give advice on family, so he patted her arm awkwardly. The scene must've looked quite funny. She pulled herself together, taking a deep breath. 

"I'm being silly," she shook her head, looking to Remus. "She doesn't hate me, does she?"

"I don't think it's really my place to say," he laughed nervously, hoping she'd stop crying and leave him alone. "Y'know, with family type stuff." 

"Oh," she whispered. "Sorry, I didn't realize..." 

"It's alright," he smiled. Suddenly, she grabbed Remus by the shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. 

"Thank you, Remus," she sniffed, pulling away. 

"Anytime," he laughed, feeling even more embarrassed. Did she have to hug him? 

"I think I'm gonna go lie down," said Lily, climbing the steps Remus had previously descended from.

"G'night," he called, plopping himself down into his usual armchair. 

"Night," smiled Lily. She plodded up the steps and Remus turned to face the mantle. Silence. Except, it wasn't really silent. There was still the crackle of the fire and the distant tweeting of owls. Until it _was_ silent.

***

_Wednesday March 1, 1972_

Remus awoke with a jolt, covered in blood and sweat. He craned himself back down as pain shot through his shoulder-blades. Always the shoulders. He smelled something -- a person. It was a woman -- and with a soft knock at the door, Remus knew instantly that he'd been sensing Madam Pomfrey. 

"Remus, dear, are you alright?" called the medi-witch. 

"Eurgh," he groaned. That was all Remus could say, even though the moon hadn't been as bad as the others. Madam Pomfrey peered into the room, the door squeaking as she did so. 

"Oh, you poor thing..." she frowned, rushing over to him. 'This shack is far too cramped, I'll have to talk with Dumbledore about this." 

"S'fine," he whispered as Madam Pomfrey blotted a strong smelling ointment over his wounds. 

"No, it's not. You deserve to be safe," insisted the woman. Maybe she was right. 

By time Remus was back in the hospital wing, the other marauders were in class. Maybe they were in Astronomy. What day was it, again? Remus didn't know. Madam Pomfrey draped a cool icepack over Remus' swelling shoulder-blades, which he'd soon find out were broken. The medicine-witch poured funny liquid over each of his wounds once more, and this time, they were planted on his neck and torso -- a bit easier to hide than one right across your face. 

Madam Pomfrey had permitted Remus to do a bit of reading as long as he didn't strain his shoulders. Anything to pass the time. 

Remus's friends had most likely caught on, and knew that he was in the hospital wing. In fact, they came knocking a total of ten times, in which Remus shooed them off. He had about twenty different excuses that surely wouldn't work, so he opted to go with the flow. He'd think of something. 

He didn't. 

At last, Madam Pomfrey finally let him walk back to Gryffindor tower. As he pushed into the common room, joints sore, he saw James, Sirius, and Peter sitting in their usual spots. But this time, they weren't discussing quidditch -- they weren't telling James to shut up about Lily -- they weren't bantering. Instead, they were quiet, as if they'd been waiting for Remus. 

"Hi," Remus said, suspicious of the others. "Everything alright?"

"Oh, hi," James nodded, eyeing Sirius.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Where were you?" 

His stomach sunk. 

"Uh, just the hospital wing. Fell down the stairs to the astronomy tower." He felt his neck get hot as the the marauders nodded. 

Soon it was dinner time, and the four walked to the Great Hall. Sirius and James had returned to their usual banter, perhaps forgetting he was there. They tucked in and began to eat, glancing at Remus every once in a while. The food was better than usual, and he scoffed it down.

After dinner, Remus snuck off to the library. It was better than being interrogated. As Remus grabbed a book on Astronomy (which he hated), Madam Pince scowled. He settled into an armchair and began to read. A moon phase chart was on the first page, though Remus didn't really need a chart. He was his own chart. The book was boring as ever. Astronomy was cool and all, but constellations looked nothing like the pictures. 

He snapped awake to the presence of Madam Pince eyeing him from over her desk. She was crazy when it came to her precious books, so Remus pushed it toward her with a smile. She did not return the favor, but rather scoffed at him as she snatched the book up. Remus scurried out of the library, no longer wanting to be near her. Some might even say that she'd murder you if you had an overdue book, but those were just rumors, right? 

Remus strode into the common room just to see an empty couch. If the three weren't in the common room, they were in their dorm, so Remus clambered up the steps. He wrenched the door open to see James, Sirius, and Peter whispering in a circle. 

"Hi," he swallowed, blinking. Why did they keep secrets from him? Peter looked mortified. 

"Hey," James said, glancing at Sirius. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. 

"Have I done something?" Remus asked as the air grew hotter. James sighed, looking back from Sirius to Peter to Remus. He stood up.

"Are you.." he began, rubbing his forehead. "We know what happens to you.. on full moons..." 

Remus felt like he'd just been slapped. He was dumfounded. They knew. Of course they knew. Remus exhaled sharply, his eyes pricking a bit. He'd felt this only once or twice before, the last time being in the boys' lavatory. His nose began to sting and he pinched it lightly. 

"Yeah," he swallowed, looking at the wall behind the three. He might as well say goodbye. He limped toward his bed and began to pull out his trunk. What was he getting at, thinking his secret would be safe?

"What're you doing?" begged James, catching up with Remus. 

"Well, I can't stay here, can I?" he snapped, blinking through tears. "You lot know, and the rest of the school will know, so--"

"Mate, we're not gonna tell anyone!" pleaded Sirius. James and Peter nodded. 

"Really, Remus, you're our friend."

"But I'm dangerous and you know it!" he shouted. The others looked at their feet. "What was I playing at, thinking I'd stay here for long?"

"But we don't think you're dangerous!" interjected Peter. This caught Remus's attention -- it was usually James and Sirius doing the talking, but this time, it was Peter wanting him to stay. 

He sighed, turning to face them. He bit his tongue as tears pricked in his eyes. "I'm going to bed," he whispered, turning to his four-poster. James seized his arm. 

"You're still a marauder!" James begged. "And you're not leaving, mate." 

Remus sighed. "You're not gonna tell anyone?" 

"We promise," Sirius assured. Remus didn't know what it was, but he knew that Sirius was being honest. He knew that he wouldn't tell. "We don't even have to talk about it, if you don't want." 

Remus felt like he owed them an explantation. He owed them _something_. He was a werewolf, after all. That night was spent answering questions, rather than sleeping. The questions consisted of 'when were you bitten?', 'where do you go to transform?', 'does it hurt?' and et cetera, et cetera. Remus was comfortable telling them, and they never pushed him to answer. He even lifted his shirt to show them where he'd been bitten, which now was a faint pink scar. 

"Wow..." James whispered, eyes wide at the sight. "Er, how old were you?" 

"Five," responded Remus, a bit embarrassed. Sirius, too, was looking intently at his scar. 

"How d'you get your scars?" faltered James, not wanting to sound too pushy. 

"When I'm, er, a wolf," he muttered. "I kind of take my anger out on myself. There's nothing else I can attack. It's not like I want to, though. I can't control it." 

Sirius' eyes flickered back to his scar. "You did that yourself?"

"Yeah," he swallowed. 

"Why aren't there potions, or even spells, to stop it?" ranted Sirius. "I mean, they can't just let you tear yourself up in that shack!" 

"But they can. It's unavoidable, really. Besides, it's not like the ministry _cares_ about my condition." explained Remus. Sirius looked back at his lap. 

Remus had read books on his condition, which turned out to be called lycanthropy. He'd heard of ministry regulations regarding the disease, and it made his stomach lurch. You even had to be registered, and he wasn't keen to submit himself. There was loads of stigma around it, too. He'd read it in _Werewolves: A Threat to the Common Wizard_. Was everyone afraid of him? He understood, though. He didn't trust himself either. 

***

_Wednesday March 9, 1972_

The very next week, Remus had finally let it slip that his birthday was the next day, and the others had insisted on making it perfect. 

"Why didn't you tell us?" James asked as the four meandered down to lunch. 

"Didn't want the big fuss, I guess," he replied, shrugging. 

"Well now we don't have gifts for you!" frowned Peter. 

"You lot don't need to get me anything and you know th--"

"Yes we do!" Sirius defended. "You deserve it."

When Sirius whined, there was no convincing him. 

All throughout the day, Remus found the other marauders speaking in hushed voices and grinning furtively whenever he walked in. Whatever they were planning was definitely big. When it'd been Sirius's birthday, they went all out, and James assured Remus that his party would be just as great. 

"It's gonna be amazing," beamed James at dinner. Sirius and Peter seemed to be holding back grins. 

"Please tell me it won't be _too_ embarrassing..." Remus groaned, picking at the food on his plate with a fork.

"Can't promise anything, Moony," snickered Sirius, piling another helping of cheesecake onto his plate. This shocked Remus.

"What'd you just call me?" Remus asked mid-bite. "Did you just call me _Moony_?" 

"Yeah, s'catchy, isn't it?" snorted James. Remus scoffed. 

"What kind of nickname is that?!" quipped Remus, rather scandalized. Peter muffled his giggle with a napkin as James and Sirius erupted into laughter. Remus found it quite funny, actually. It wasn't the _worst_ nickname ever, and only they knew what it meant. 

"Get it, Moon-y?" teased Sirius. Rolling his eyes, Remus turned back to his food. 

As the four ascended up to Gryffindor tower, Remus noticed the others splitting up and handing cards to anyone who was present. Taking his usual spot in an armchair, Remus took reading. He'd nicked up a few more books from the library and began to read them. Before Hogwarts, he'd never even thought of picking up a book. But now, it was all he did. The others seemed to notice this too. 

"What're you always reading about?" Sirius asked, finally done handing out cards. "I can't stand reading."

"S'nothing," Remus said, closing his book with a yawn. He was ready for bed despite it only being seven-thirty. "What're you lot planning?"

"S'nothing," laughed Sirius in attempt to mock Remus. 

"Are you telling Moony our plans?" James quipped, appearing behind Sirius. 

"Seriously, don't do anything too outrageous--" 

"No-can-do," shrugged James.

That night, Remus fell asleep quite easily. He was no longer restless, and this came as a relief. The thought that his friends were planning something soothed him as well -- something about this revelation made him feel included. Appreciated, perhaps. 


	15. Happy Birthday, Moony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is gonna be a happy chapter!

_Thursday March 10, 1972_

**BANG**

Remus awoke with a jolt as the room around him shook. Bleary eyed, he staggered out of bed to see every bed empty. Suddenly, Remus remembered. It was his birthday. 

Clambering down the steps, Remus was presented with Sirius and James drenched in water. They were setting up soap bombs. Bloody _s_ _oap bombs_!

"What're you doing?" Remus belted, gaping at the now leaking ceiling. "Are those..." 

"Soap bombs," groaned Peter, jumping down from the table. "They set one off on accident." 

"Oi, it was supposed to be a surprise!" shouted Sirius. He turned to Remus. "Happy birthday, Moony! This here prank is in honor of you."

"Cheers," he laughed sarcastically. "Why're you setting them off so early? And don't we have class today?" 

"Oh..." James said, glasses hanging off of his face and his body soaked. "We didn't think of that, did we."

"Right, then that means we have a tighter schedule!" Sirius shrugged. "We should get these out onto the lawn soon."

Remus was stunned. 

"No! You'll wake up the whole castle!" he scolded. "Besides, I can't be late for transfiguration again--"

"You're not going to be late. We will, not you," assured James, squeezing water out of his hair. Bubbles now floated from the carpet -- though, the fire was still blazing rapidly, unaffected by the water. 

"You just sit up by the window and watch," Sirius said, very business-like. Right when he said this, Lily, Mary, and Marlene stumbled down the steps. 

"Let's go, come on!" hissed James, pulling Peter and Sirius away with him. "Go upstairs!" 

Remus wasted no time. He bolted up the steps past Lily, whose hair was shining with bubbles. 

"Did James do thi--"

"No, I think it was that one third year, you know, the one!" he panted, slamming the door behind him. Remus rushed toward the window and pried it open, peering down at the lawn. A minute or two later, three figures appeared on the grass, heaving a huge basket in their arms. 

"This one's for you, Moony!" bellowed a voice that Remus recognized as Sirius's. Suddenly, all three figures pointed their wands at the basket and levitated it high up above the ground. They spread out at each side and yelled 'FINITE!', followed by a loud 'ENGORGIO!'. They ran to the nearest castle entrance as the basket thudded to the ground, spurting rapid bubbles across the lawn. Gargantuan suds rose up, and the scent of peach wafted into Remus's dorm. 

Shouts came from the windows of students who had been awoken by the noise. Some even cheered.

Within just a few minutes, people from all over the castle were gaping and clapping at the mess. One seventh year even rode his broom over the mess, earning hollers from McGonagall. 

"Finite!" she yelled, pointing her wand at the sud-filled lawn. The growing bubbles came to a halt and began to pop. The sides of the castle were stained with pink soap, and so were the marauders. Except for Remus, of course, as he was safely watching from their dorm. "Scourgify!" the woman bellowed. The suds vanished completely, leaving everyone disappointed. "Who did this!?" 

Before McGonagall could find the culprit, the three had vanished back up into the castle. 

A minute or two later, the other marauders entered the dorm, James leading them.

"How'd you like it?" asked James, covered in pink soap. 

"It was amazing!" Remus cheered. 

"You should've seen McGonagall's face!" laughed Sirius, squeezing water out of his hair. 

"Oi, do that in the sink! Your hair's like a sponge," James ordered as a puddle formed on the carpet. 

"Sorry, sorry!" he rolled his eyes. Sirius turned to Remus. "We have more planned, just so you know." 

"Please don't..."

***

That morning at breakfast, Remus was bombarded with singing and chanting. 

"Happy birthday to Moonyyyy!" sang James, Sirius, and Peter, along with some other Gryffindors. Remus groaned, picking at his food. They knew _just how_ to embarrass him. 

'"Do you _have_ to?" he asked as James pushed a slice of cake toward him. 

"Yes, we do, now eat your cake!" 

Remus scooped a bite of cake into his mouth, and to his surprise, it wasn't that bad. In fact, it was amazing.

"Did you make this?" asked Remus mid-bite. Sirius looked from James to Peter, snickering. 

"Yeah, I'm actually an amazing cook." 

Remus rolled his eyes as James pushed another slice toward him. 

During that morning's lessons, the marauders felt the need to announce Remus's birthday to the class. In Potions, Snape glared at the four as James shouted about the occasion. 

"Make way, Snivellous," Sirius sang. "It's our dear friend Moony's birthday!" 

Snape sneered as Lily approached Remus. 

"Happy birthday," she smiled, bouncing on her heels. 

"Thanks," he nodded back as Slughorn called the class to their seats. 

Potions was more exciting than usual; they were creating aging potions. Remus's turned out to be a dark blue, rather than the standard dark green, but nothing could kill his high spirits.

At lunch, the marauders chanted another round of 'happy birthday', much like they had at breakfast. But this time, Remus was not as embarrassed. 

"At dinner you can open your presents!" Peter beamed excitedly. 

"You got me gifts? You didn't have t--"

"Shhh," James hushed. "We're getting you presents and that's final. Besides, it's not like we can return them." 

"Okay..." Remus sighed. They really didn't have to buy him anything -- this was good enough.

***

At dinner, Remus now expected the usual round of 'happy birthday's from the others. They stayed true to their word -- all four of them band together and bought Remus plenty of vinyl disks, mostly by Bowie (courtesy of Sirius), a huge assortment of sweets and chocolates, and a new set of quills, as Remus often complained about his breaking. He thanked them profusely, grateful that they'd taken the time out of their day to give him gifts. 

"S' no problem," smiled James as Remus beamed at the three. 

After opening his gifts, James led Remus down the corridors and into the common room, a blindfold over his eyes. 

"Why do I need to wear this?" groaned Remus, nearly bumping into the Fat Lady's portrait. 

"You'll see," James promised, calling out that week's password. The portrait swung open and James pulled Remus into the suspiciously quiet common room. "You can take the blindfold off," James said after a minute of waiting. 

Remus pulled the fabric off of his face, but was met with utter darkness. 

"Oi, why's it so dark in h--" 

Suddenly, the lights flickered on and students, young and old, cheered. 

"Surprise!" Sirius bellowed, jumping down from the table he'd been standing on. Remus also took notice of the record player that was now blasting music. 

"You did all this?" asked Remus, shocked at the amount of streamers and confetti around the room. A cake that read 'happy birthday, moony', was placed precisely next to the record player. 

"D'you like it?" entreated Peter, a great smile on his face. 

"It's amazing," beamed Remus, in awe. He felt a bit bad; he hadn't done the same for Sirius during _his_ birthday. "Bloody amazing!" 

Within a few minutes of his arrival, the party was up and running. Mary, Marlene, and Lily were also in attendance, which lifted Remus's spirits even more. Some of the older students seemed to be enjoying the party as well, though they probably attended for the booze they were passing around. Remus didn't care, though; it was the best birthday he's ever had. 

Prior to blowing out the candles, everyone crowded around Remus and chanted 'happy birthday' for the fourth time that day. Music played for hours as they sliced into the cake, the twelve candles now melted and burnt out. The cake was great; in fact, it impressed Remus far more than the one at breakfast and lunch. 

"Who made the cake? I just _know_ that none of you are this good at cooking," Remus laughed, scooping a bite of chocolate cake into this mouth.

"The house-elves made it, not Sirius," James snorted. 

"Just let me have my moment," Sirius responded, rolling his eyes. 

The party went on for a full five hours until everyone was worn out, or at least most people. Sirius was still wide-awake -- James, Peter, and Remus, not so much. 

"Doesn't anyone want to keep partying?" Sirius begged, scoffing at the students who were now leaving the common room. Remus snickered. 

"We have class tomorrow, not everyone is as awake as you," yawned Remus, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm going to bed, I'm knackered." 

Sirius sighed with disapproval as the three ascended up the stairs. As Remus entered the room, he heard those familiar footsteps, indicating that Sirius had given up on being stubborn. Remus pulled a fresh pair of pajamas out of his dresser and pulled them on in the bathroom, resisting the urge to look at his scars. 

Stepping out of the washroom, Remus took to his bed after a day full of cake, singing, and inhaling smoke from the cigarettes of older students. 

"G'night, Moony!" James called from his four-poster. 

"Night'," he yawned back, sinking his head into a cold pillow. The faint tune of _Space Oddity_ played from the common room as Remus's mind fell into yet another dream. He was in the kitchen again, but this time, the woman was not alone. A tall man with the same curly hair as Remus stood beside her, bidding her goodbye with a kiss. 

***

The next day, nearly everyone was congratulating Remus on the great party, though James, Peter, and Sirius had done most of the work. 

The weather was nice -- it was sunny and there was not a single cloud in the sky. After lessons (which went by quite quickly), the four sauntered out onto the lawn. They decided to sit under a nice, shady beech tree that was unoccupied. The lake was blue and clear as the sunlight glinted off of it. The scent of blooming dandelions wafted throughout the air, further indicating the arrival of spring. Remus pulled out a copy of _The Count of Monte Cristo_ and flipped to the page he'd left off on.

After about ten minutes of reading, Sirius snapped Remus out of his trance with a rant about quidditch. 

"Right, Moony? See, he agrees with me," Sirius nodded. 

"Huh?" grunted Remus, snapping his head up at the call of his name. Sirius sighed, his hair floating behind his shoulders as the wind blew. James took his glasses and began to clean them on his shirt while Remus returned to his book. It was beautiful out, and everyone had spent the afternoon outside. 

The weather only got better as March rolled into the later months, though it still brought the worry of upcoming exams. They'd been set for a week in late June, so they'd be done just before their departure. May was filled with warm weather, late night adventures to Honeydukes, and a lot of studying. The marauders had come up with plenty of pranks, but the finale had to be _big_. Not like Remus's birthday prank, but something much bigger. 

The four also worked on the map, making slow progress. They added four new locations, two being hiding spots: one in a hidden broom cupboard (that was opened by tapping several bricks), and the other below the dungeon steps. There was a small crevice under the steps, allowing the marauders to watch Snape's every move. 

The other two locations were simply discoveries. While Peter was walking around the castle one evening, he'd bumped into a very large gargoyle. It had a latch on it, which opened up and became a tunnel to the kitchens. The last location was a hidden bathroom on the fifth floor. It appeared whenever you asked, no mater the circumstance. 

Just before lessons, one day in mid-May, the four were doing some extra studying at breakfast. 

"James, mate, can you look over my notes? You're the best at transfiguration," inquired Remus. 

"Sure, Moony," he grinned, skimming over each definition. After a minute or two of correcting Remus's mistakes, he cleared his throat. "Ahem, er.. we have something to tell you." 

"Is there a definition I missed? I knew it had something to do with the wand movements--"

"No, not that. You're notes are perfect, actually." James readjusted his glasses. "We have an idea, and we need your approval..." 

He nodded to Sirius to continue the conversation as Remus sat there in confusion. 

"So, uh, you know how McGonagall can change into a cat because she's and animagus?" Sirius began, rubbing his neck. "So, we did a little research and found out that," Sirius lowered his voice. "er, werewolves, don't hurt animals. They only hurt humans, so we were thinking that.. maybe..."

It suddenly registered in Remus' mind what they'd been planning. 

"Absolutely not! Are you mad?! What if you get hurt?" Remus spluttered. "What if I kill you? It's just not safe--" 

"Just to keep you company! Please, Moony, it's unfair that you have to sit in that shack and tear yourself up--" 

"No!" asserted Remus, creasing his eyebrows. How could they even suggest that? He could _kill_ them. 

Sirius looked at his lap and James returned to his notes, a bit flustered. Peter held his breath, and Remus felt it. Why did they think that was even an option? To make matters worse, they pitied him. The last thing Remus wanted was their sympathy. 

That evening in the common room, no one talked about the previous debacle. They simply returned to their usual roles: James sprawled out on the couch, Remus and Peter in their own armchairs, and Sirius on his stomach in front of the fire.

The common room was never the same without the constant banter of Sirius and James, and that was a fact.


End file.
